Thursday, September 4, 2008

Addmission of Guilt, Axis of Evil

So, a few posts ago I told you all about the evil stepsisters....and of course sister #1 had once again to pretend it was all a BIG FAT LIE...however, this Summer we all got together at a beach house, where there was finally an admission of guilt by evil step sister #2. This is what was admitted too...

The evils asked my mother or permission to go to the movies with 2 male friends, they were granted permission with the condition that they take me along, which meant that they were to see a family film, as I was 5. Keep this number in mind: 5!

We go to the movies, me, ES #1, ES #2, and the Pacheco bros. Did we seen Benji? no... Did we see Bugsy Malone (w/ Scott Baio) no...How about the Muppet Show or Bad News Bears? NO, NO, NO...we saw JAWS. In a dark theater, very loudly, too embarrassed to wait outside or cover my face in horror in front of two teenage boys. I saw JAWS, all of it.

Now, I must have been threatened with in inches of my life because I did not tell, however the effects are still present!
  • when we went water skiing (I was 11) in a man made lake, and I fell and had to wait for the boat to circle around to pick me up, I almost drown due to a panic attack
  • I am forever uncomfortable swimming out in the ocean
  • I can't even swim in a pool at night!

Now when I was 18, I was at the beach with Evil #2 and she had swum out and was calling me to go to where she was. I was wadding and started inching towards her, but then there was a drop off, a big one. I couldn't do it. She swam back and tried to make me come out, grabbing my had and coaxing me, we'll do it together. I was almost in tears. I am sure that was the moment she realized how bad watching JAWS at 5 can be for you. Still the little evil #2 did not mention the evil deed.

Lo and behold we all got together at a beach house and as always I brought up my horrific scars caused by the terrible actions of the evil sisters and to my disbelief she blurted " we didn't think they would let us in" A-HA! I made her repeat it in front of everyone- Admission of guilt...


  1. You are not alone! Surely a considerable segment of the world's population that ever watched JAWS suffered from either temporary or long term traumatic effects! As to the pool at night, I am with you! Of course, unless, one is enjoying fabulous drinks, great company and conversation which will undoubtedly deter and numb your senses and those nasty, creepy thoughts, otherwise, if alone and close to a nearby pool at night...I'd stay away...did you ever watch Piranha? ;)

  2. No, but I saw Orca and have nighmares of falling into those giant pools at Seaworld and being eaten by Shamu!!! I once lost my youngest (he was four!) at the Miami SeaAquariun at night on Halloween...but that is another scary story!

  3. Yessss, seeing those giant Orcas in Seaworld can stir up nasty mind tricks. I definitely would not want to be a "gyoza" appetizer for sure. The movie Orca, sigh, I watched when I was four and cried my eyes out...Please share with us the Miami SeaAquarium story sometime soon.


I love you Darling, really! Thank you!