New BOY TOY for ME!

So you all remember how I wanted to track down THIS GUY, drag him home with me and make him be my new GAY BFF/BOY TOY...well, he lived very far, I am very broke and couldn't afford the airfare, then, he is like an Internetz star, etc, etc, etc (of course there is the itty bitty item called an restraining order *tee-hee*) Whatever! I have decided that I was simply shooting for the starts, and I needed to lower my expectation, just a little. Lower expectation will simply get your farther...

I have found a new object of obsession, he too can dance, he just doesn't look as TIGHT in a leotard as my former obsession...but hell, either do I!

Ladies, I give to you my future BOY TOY in ALL his glory-please try not stare at his manly bits it is more than most can bare!

If I was single, I would hook up a speaker system to my body and play this damn song on a loop, I would walk around popping and locking, strutting my stuff all over town, in some big PUTA shoes,- it would be MY THEME SONG! If you liked you should put a ring on it..oh, oh, oh...lallalaaaa - I'd get a personalized lic. plate that said FIERCE! ya baby! Oh Lord, it is a good thing I got married and settled down (even if I was 18!) I would have been ONE HOT MESS!

My pervy co-worker, Smell my Finger

Back to the all girls Catholic school, which is where I met SuperGF, we worked together, shared a love of gossip rags and celebrity bashing websites, and quickly became as the girls called us : BFF's. On a serious note, she is the sweetest, most adorable and best listner in the WORLD, granted she is a mental health professional, so it's kind of her job :) I don't think I had ever told anyone else as many of my truly crazy thoughts than to her, and never once did I feel judged. Except that one time I told her I couldn't eat eggs(which I love), because they made me think I was eating chicken abortions when I bit the yolk and made me want to hurl, that time she kind of laughed.

The day before Thanksgiving break, which we thought we had off, but thanks to some hurricane make up day was made a teacher work day, the head Nun made us come in for an 8 hour seminar. Don't get me wrong I LOVE the head nun, she kicks ass and is my idol, but 8 hrs listening to some speaker about something that in no way applies to me was a tad bit boring. After lunch when I was really getting antsy, I started taking off my jewelry and cleaning it with a little cloth I had in my purse. When I took off my wedding band (which is very wide, and I never take off) I noticed my finger smelled....gross. So I lean over to my SuperGF and told her "ewww, I took off my ring and my finger stinks, because I never take my rings off." She then removes her rings, brings her hand towards her face and in the most PERVY way EVER takes a big slow, deep whiff of her finger and totally makes a "O" face, and moans a little. I wanted to bust my seems laughing, but since I was in a room with clergy, was forced to silence my laugh, which made me convulse violently...the next thing I remember was the head Nun's hand on my shoulder "are you alright, dear?" How does it feel to be called out for lauging in class by a Nun, when you're in your mid 30's? Embarrasing and hilarious.