Bow down- it's my Birthday!

Today is my actual Birthday, yes today is the day that my parents finally got their dream daughter and today is the day that the evil (step)-sisters RUE.

Actually, middle sister says she remembers going to the hospital and looking at me through the glass, she says she asked our Dad "why is she so red and why won't she stop screaming?" That's all she remembers.

Last night we ordered Chinese take out, as I had no desire to cook, it was amazing and everyone overate BIG TIME. I went to bed not feeling well. A little after midnight I was dreaming about Birthday cake, in the dream I was saying "No, Thank you"

Really, me, turning down a piece of cake, they kept on insisting, EAT SOME, EAT SOME! I bolted up, out of my slumber, ran to the bathroom and *BLAAAAAAAAHHHHHH* out came all the Chinese food. Well, not all because I spent the rest of the night sitting on the toilet. Lovely, right? I bet you weren't expecting that mental image in my Birthday post.

I had to drag myself to work today, as the receptionist is out sick, needless to say I have canceled my B-day lunch with girlfriends and my B-day dinner with the Hubs and kids.

I have to tell you the the gifts I got at my party totally represent who I am as a person:

• Gift Certificate to Victoria's Secret
• Bath Products
• Yankee Candle with gorgeous holder
• Super Fun Jewelry
• Hand crafted glycerin soaps with cherries in them
• Hooters Gift Certificates

Really what else could a woman ask for?

I have began pondering next years Birthday party and I am pretty sure I am going to kick the Hairys and the Hubs out of the house and have a SLUMBER PARTY! Seriously, this may be the best idea ever!!!

My Suprise Birthday Party- which I planned

Just by reading this blog you can probably tell I'm the kind of girl that likes to party. Just a little, and only once in a while *HA*

The insanity started when I turned 30, I decided that I wanted to throw myself a party. I didn't need the HUBS to do it, or anyone else. My philosophy has long been: If you want flowers, plant a garden. If you want a Birthday Party, throw one for yourself, don't sit around on your ass hopping your man is gonna grow a Woman's brain and throw you a surprise party with all the trimmings! Girl, please, do it for yourself!

Every year, it got bigger and bigger, people would start calling me the first week of February asking " What's the plan for your B-day?"

Then we moved to Orlando, and well, I didn't really know too many people, finally after 3 years, I figured I had enough friends to have a proper party. I set the date with the girls and then started planning away. I did NOT inform the HUBS. Hence the SURPRISE portion of the Party.

Why? Well, the HUBS has a strong OGRE gene in him, and he is at his core a hermit. So social events are not his thing (my exact opposite) He does not like for people to sing Happy Birthday to him and would kill me if I ever did in public. I on the other hand, relish all attention and suffer for that terrible sickness "EVERYONE MUST LOVE ME!" syndrome.

One week before the party he was informed we were going out to celebrate my Birthday on the 20 (my actual B-day is 2/25, take note) with some friends at a local bar/nightclub (which is a tourist trap and the most chessy fun ever!)

The party planning started getting a little out of control. First I devised a theme- hmmm, it was either Hello Kitty (shut up, you know you love her too) or Cherries. Cherries, it was...what kind of a theme is Cherries? Well, I got balloons with Cherries on them, we all drank Cherry Bombs (cherry vodka/red bull and maraschinos cherries) I wore my fabulous cherry jewelry, and got cherries painted on my nails, all so cute! Now the piece de resistance of course was the cake:

Two days before the party the Hubs was informed that many people had been invited and there were decorations involved. He just looked at me. The strategy worked. He was fine with it, if I would have informed him 2 weeks prior, I could have faced weeks of complaining, and moaning and groaning about the huge social commitment, blah, blah, blah.

Now the funniest part of all, it that the HUBS complains before hand, but is always the person who has the most fun and sings Happy Birthday...it's like pre-party jitters.

Here he is yucking it up with his pals.

And her I am with my partner in crime, who helped and did all the pre-party set up.

Blogging can be dangerous!

Sunday was Mother's day, I called my Mom, I swear I did! It was 6pm, and I thought it was 8pm in their time zone and for sure they would be home, they weren't, no one answered the phone. I remembered to try again at about 9pm, but then I thought it was too late. I called Monday night and my Mom wasn't home. So I chatted with my Dad a little while-

Daddy: Honey, you didn't call your Mom yesterday. She was expecting your call (translation: daddy's Little Girl/favorite/baby of the bunch = SHE IS PISSED!)

FFC: Yeah I did, no one answered, where were you at 8pm?

Daddy: We were home, we only went to the club a little while and then to lunch at your sister's.

FFC: I called and no one answered. Where is Mom out at night, on a Monday?

Daddy: She went to a Women Nobel Prize Winners Conference with her friends.

FFC: Oh, you mean an Angry Lesbians conference ?

ha-ha we both laugh, because that man totally gets my sense of humor. (while my mother-in-law who was at my house at the time just looks at me perplexed)

Daddy: Call her tomorrow, she won't be back until about 11pm tonight, and that will be to late for you.

FFC: No it won't, it's like 9pm, I can call her back.

Daddy: Darling, we are 2 hours behind you, not ahead of you.

FFC: OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Daddy: Besides, I don't think she is going to believe you she read your BLOG about HER Birthday!

FFC: uh-oh

And this is the woman who is coming to care for me after my surgery, if I was her I would be doing all sorts of nasty things to me when I was drugged.....maybe she will show the surgeon my post about HIM! oh no! Why do my 75 year old Dad and 70 year old Mom have to be so damn computer SAVVY!

18 & Life to go...

This has been a crazy busy week for me...

Work

Kids

House

Husband

Dog

add to that acquiring the new bike, PLUS, my oldest some Alex turned 18!

Well, we had to throw a BIG OLE PARTY! He just wanted some pizza and cake for a couple of friends....OH NO, said the MAMA, that just won't do! I birthed you, you have survived to 18, we must celebrate!

So, of course, I planned a big party behind his back, with the help of his girlfriend.

We had MEXICAN FIESTA! And I must say it was awesome! Here are the pics to prove it!

The girlfriend, Alex & Frida

The PASTEL- arriba!

The boy and his MAMACITA!The Friend with the 'stash and the cheapest Mariachis I could find!

It was between a Fiesta Theme or Sponge Bob....

All week we played a game of all the things he could do legally now that he is 18...and some stuff he can get in trouble for:

buy a lottery ticket

buy porn

drink in Canada

go to a strip club

join the Army

Vote!

Sign legal documents

Go to jail (not juvi)

buy cigarettes

get a tattoo

get a piercing

be drafted

get married

This is all we could come up with...any additions?

Meet my Mom

Don't leave your laptop at Granmas.

This was sent to me by my middle sister, it is not phisically my Mom, but, it is SO MY MOM.

Worth a Thousand Words

I turned 37 last month....that's the bad news....The good news is I got to eat my favorite take out, got a delish chessecake, and lots 'o presents form my boys. Crazy that they are all taller than me, it seems like yesterday I was pulling off the turnpike, busting up a brawl in the back seat and spanking everyone on the side of the rode...wait, that was yesterday! Oh, the joys of boys....

As always, we have Jen over at Cheaper Than Therapy to thank for Thousand Words Thursdays.

The day my Dad brought home a baby

I am the youngest of 3 girls. By the time I was 12, I was an only child, as both my sisters had gone off to College in the States and we were living in Guatemala at the time. I saw them twice a year, and I liked it that way. Just our little pod, the 3 of us.

One day my father came home with a baby. No phone call, no discussion, showed up at 6pm with a 9 month old little girl in his hands.

She was filthy, wrapped in rags, stinky, she had lice and red splotches all over her body. I always waited for my Dad to get home and greeted him at the door, He looked at me and said "go get your Mom."

I never really thought about this until today, can you imagine your husband of 27 years walking in the door with some random baby! ha-ha it's almost comical!

A very good friend of my father's, Ginny, had been in town from Washington DC on business, she was in her 40's and divorced. They had a conversation about how she would like to adopt a child, possibly in Guatemala, yada, yada, yada. She got on a plane and left.

The day after my father's driver comments that a local woman in the village he lived had tried to give him her baby. This poor woman, had already had 10 children and 6 of them had died before the age of 2 (infant mortality in Guatemala at that time was higher than even Africa) and she could not even afford to feed the baby and was sure this child would die. The driver, was the local hero, as he had been a contract employee for the American Embassy for years and was doing well for himself. However he had 4 kids of his own and had already take 2 babies in, as they were left on his door step.

Something clicked in my Dad's brain and said, take me to this woman's house. His idea was to make contact, check the situation out and then contact Ginny and see what to do. I remember him telling me this like it was yesterday.

"Honey, I never expected it to be as bad as it was" He said it was horrible, the baby sat on the floor, a dirty floor. There was no running water, they had a ditch with sewage feet from where the children were. There were no beds, no walls, you get the idea. She was sick, she was coughing and thin as a rail. He said when he picked her up she smiled and touched his face. That was it. He spoke with the woman, she trusted him, he was Luis (the driver) boss and friend. They told her they would be back with papers, attorneys, etc.

My Mom and I took the baby, bathed her in the sink, wrapped her in towels and sent my Dad to the market to buy everything you need for a baby. I was 13 for goodness sakes, there was nothing for this child in our home to use! We laughed when he got home, he bought tons of stuff in all sizes.

The next morning my Mom took her to the pediatrician, he said she would have not lasted 2 days, she was so ill.

She lived with us for the 9 months it took to process her paperwork, she moved to DC with Ginny when the adoption was complete.

My Mom never even gave my Dad a sideways glance, let alone said "are you nuts!" I never thought how amazing that was, of both of them, at the time I was happy to have a REAL LIVE DOLL!

It's my Birthday Bitches!

Today is my Birthday, and also happens to be, Ash Wednesday, coincidence? I think not, as you all know I am surely on my way to Hell, yeppers, do not pass GO, do not collect $200, go Straight to HELL!

Now maybe it is the fact that I am turning 37, because I may joke that I am Forever 21, I wasn't actually born in 1988, yesterday I did the unthinkable, I went to the GYM! Yes, me...the person who lost 100lbs without walking a block, the person who got permission from her therapist to yell at my hubs "I WILL NEVER GO TO THE GYM, SO STOP ASKING WHEN I'M GOING TO GO!" and last but not least the person who truly believes that running should be reserved for the off chance that a maniac killer is chasing you with a BIG knife and jogging for when a zombie or mummy are chasing you as they are markedly slower.

There may be additional factors to this:

• I am going to COLORADO next week and going to try to SKI, and well I am afraid I may DIE, of mostly soreness.
• I had surgery 1 year ago for my arthritic shoulder (yes, arthritis in your 30's) and I still have only about 25% mobility.
• My lap band is no longer working and will be removed as soon as the conditions are right.

So I face my late 30's without my miracle cure...

I usually throw myself a Party, when I was younger I had fantasies about surprise parties, and mariachis at my window, oh well, I decide if you ant to be the belle at the ball, throw it yourself!

This year there is no party as I will be tagging along with the HUBS to a conference in Colorado and then heading to a Ski Resort!

I am sure I will bring back and totally awkward post for y'all!