Thursday, July 28, 2011

Why I need a JOB

So I have been unemployed since January 1st of this year. To say it sucks is so beyond an understatement, it redonkculous.

So I have come up with a few reasons why I really, really need a job.

  1. I NEED money! I was never a stay at home Mom (could not afford to be) Never worked to pay off my charge cards or as a "fun" thing to do. I worked because I have always needed the money, still do.
  2. Being unemployed at the same time I went from having 3 boys at home to only having 1 boy at home is the most depressing thing ever. Suffering empty nest syndrome and unemployment at the same time is shitty. My one remaining son goes to school full time, has a job, works out everyday and has a car, which means I see him twice a month, usually the day before he gets paid and is broke.
  3. I have started watching HSN & QVC. I am days away from ordering a GenieBra, an ABRocker, and that shit Cindy Crawford uses on her face.
  4. I can recite word for word every episode of Ice Loves Coco and I seriously love her.
  5. My husband comes home for lunch every day becasue he wants to make sure I have not gone crazy, got out of bed, and actually took a shower.
  6. Since I have no children to care for or dot on, I have become unnaturally obsessed with my dogs. Seriously, I am sure if I could breastfeed my puppy, I probably would, and well even I know that is JUST WRONG.
  7. All I do all day long is EAT.
  8. As much as I know the job market sucks, blah, blah, blah, sending 100 resumes out and not getting a single call back makes me feel like a BIG Loser, and not in a good way like the stupid weight loss show.
  9. Sitting at home all day only makes me see how much my house sucks. I need new appliances, need new counter tops, need to remodel my bathroom, etc, etc, etc
  10. Being unemployed gives me writers block.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Dear Casey Anthony- a letter from a Teen Mom

Dear Casey,

I don't like you. I don't understand anything about you. You see, I too was a teen Mom. In fact I was younger than you were when you had Caley. I was doubly stupid, because when my baby was 6 months old, I was already pregnant with my second baby.

I was in a bad marriage, so broke my children were on State provided medical insurance, we couldn't even afford to go to McDonald's, this is in NO WAY an exaggeration. My husband worked two jobs, he was gone six days a week from 2pm to 8am, I worked full time. On the one day we had a day off, we got to ride around in a car with no a/c (in Florida) and try and find something free to do.

I lived in a city with zero support system, no friends, no family, no one. On a good day, I would drop both my babies off at day care by 7:30 am and on my way to work I would fantasize about running away. Leaving and never coming back. On a bad day I thought about killing myself. I did never think of hurting them. I loved my children, still do. I am also truthful enough to accept that I resented my children, I often looked at them and knew I would have been so much better off without them. I can honestly say, I do not wish teen motherhood on my worst enemy.

I look at you and you lived at home with your parents who dotted on you and your child. They provided so much, that you didn't even have a job to support your daughter. You did what you wanted when you wanted, in my eyes you had it easy. Do I understand wanting to go out and party? Hell yes, I watched on jealously as my friends went off to college and partied their brains out hooking up with hot guys, while I was pregnant and changing diapers. It sucked.

What I cant get over is that all you had to do was get in your car and drive away. Your parents would have so obviously raised your child, and you would have been free to live your "bella vita" life.

In December of last year my house was broken into, in the middle of the day I came home to a burglarized home and could not find my dog Lulu. As I called 911, while running up and down the street screaming her name, I was sobbing and hysterical. I now laugh about this, since I found my dog, but in that moment I was devastated. I sounded like Nancy Kerrigan when they whacked her leg "WWWWHHHHHHHHYYYYYY, WHHHHYYYYY, why would they take my dog!" I can only hope the 911 operator was a pet owner so that she understand how heart broken I was.

When the not guilty verdict came down, I was so upset I did not speak the rest of the day. If you knew me, this fact alone would frighten you. I was so upset and all I could think about was that 911 call when I thought my dog as missing or hurt, the pain I felt, the devastation and heart break and how that was about MY DOG. My Dog, let alone a child. I just can't understand.



P.S. Please don't procreate.