- Door Busters sales are usually nothing you’d bust a door down for
- Just because you “fit” in the clothes in the junior department doesn’t meant you should buy or wear the clothes in the juniors department, unless you are a COUGAR, and don't mind everyone knowing.
- At 36, “BABY PHAT” is not a good thing
- A size 8 in the woman’s’ department is nowhere near a size 8 in the Juniors Department
- Those stupid coupons you clip and print and carry in your purse for days NEVER apply to the one thing you want to buy! (unless it is Bed Bath & Beyond)
- You’re finally a grown up when you spend your Christmas cash on a new crock pot and a good steamer! The realization sucks!
- It is a true Christmas miracle when on the Sunday after Christmas (after eating nonstop since Thanksgiving, with daily consumption of chocolate) you can walk into Express and buy a size 8 (down from a size 10 in the summer) pair of jeans for $23! Wooooooo-hoooooooo! Thank you 8lbs 6 ounce Baby Jesus! Hallelujah!!
Monday, December 29, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
I have found a new object of obsession, he too can dance, he just doesn't look as TIGHT in a leotard as my former obsession...but hell, either do I!
Ladies, I give to you my future BOY TOY in ALL his glory-please try not stare at his manly bits it is more than most can bare!
If I was single, I would hook up a speaker system to my body and play this damn song on a loop, I would walk around popping and locking, strutting my stuff all over town, in some big PUTA shoes,- it would be MY THEME SONG! If you liked you should put a ring on it..oh, oh, oh...lallalaaaa - I'd get a personalized lic. plate that said FIERCE! ya baby! Oh Lord, it is a good thing I got married and settled down (even if I was 18!) I would have been ONE HOT MESS!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Best ever rum cake
1 tsp. Sugar
1 or 2 quarts rum
1 cup dried fruit
1 tsp. Soda
1 cup butter
2 large eggs
Before starting, sample rum to check quality.Good isn't it? Now proceed.
Select large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check rum again. It must be just right. To be sure rum is of proper quality, pour 1 level cup of rum into a glass and drink it as fast as you can. Repeat. With electric mixer,beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 seaspoon of thugar and beatagain. Meanwhile, make sure rum is still alright. Try another cup. Open 2ndquart if necessary. Add eggs, 2 cups fried druit and beat till high. Ifdruit gets stuck in beaterrs, pry loose with a drewscriber. Sample rumagain, checking for tonscisticity . Next, sift 3 cups pepper or salt (reallydoesn't matter). Sample rum. Sift 1/2 pint lemon juice. Fold in choppedbutter & strained nuts. Add 1 bablespoon of brown thugar (or whatever coloryou can find). Wix mel. Grease oven. Turn cake pan to 350 degrees.Pour mess into koven and ake. Check rum again and go to bed and make your hubby wish you baked every night!
CHEERS to Lisa, over at Blessed with Grace, for Tempt My Tummy Tuesdays *hic*
Friday, December 12, 2008
As we put up the tree Hairy #2 asked "why are we putting up the tree if there aren't going to be any presents?" Um...because it's paid for (fake tree) and it looks pretty. The following day I drag them with me to Lowe's to load mulch in to the van, as the yard is looking mighty pathetic, and at Lowes I see an awesome "chimenea" like a pottery outdoor fireplace, which I have been wanting for like 2 years for the backyard and it's on sale! I show them how pretty it is and what a good price it is at and then wonder out loud..."should I take it" ha-ha They lost their shiz..."you just said we get no presents because you're broke!" hahah, oh, yeah. No chimenea!
Later that day I hear them bickering, which is usually all the damn time, and Hairy #1 said to Hairy #2 "man...it's all your fault we aren't getting presents, you had to ask for that freaking electronic drum set, that cost $$$" I can't even bring myself to write what we paid for that things, it is obscene. Hairy #2 comeback- "no, it;s not, you eat for like 5 people, that's why Mom is always broke, fatty" This has gone on all week. I put the drum set up for sale on Craigslist and if I am lucky I will get 1/2 of what I spent last Christmas, if I do Christmas will be saved and I will by them junk that will be in the garage or garbage with in a month.
Of course The Man who among his many faults is son #5 of a family of 9 children, and who claims to have gotten rotten gifts his entire childhood (for example, he wanted a Han Solo- he got Buck Rodgers, he wanted a GI Joe- he got Ken, as a teenager he got socks, etc, etc, etc) told me yesterday that he wanted to "some" gifts under the tree this Sunday.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Thank you Lisa, over at Blessed with Grace, for Tempt My Tummy Tuesdays!
Friday, December 5, 2008
There is a reason this did not happen on the plane I was on- well, more than one, but:
1. He probably wasn't going to Guatemala
2. I don't fly first class, I am sure he does
3. I would laugh like the complete maniac I am and not stop and then probably pee myself and snort at the same time- then he would flare his nostrils and roll his eyes at me in utter disgust
4. I would totally embarrass my kids by making ( I stress MAKING) him take a picture with me and sign and autograph!
So, it's probably a good this that this didn't happen on my flight.
I am not kidding, I was one of the only women on the whole flight. I couldn't stop thinking about it, it was so weird. When we landed in Guatemala, a mere 10 hours after I left my house in Orlando, there must have been 800 indigenous women waiting at the airport, then they all crammed in to the back of a pick up truck and drove away.
I was not happy, because my plan was to BEG the woman at the Airline counter to let me sit in First class knowing that after she heard my tragic tale of being stuck in the car with Hairy Thing #1 & Hairy Thing #2, AND The Man since 5:30 am there was no way she would not take pity on my soul....I was already envisioning myself sipping champagne and cackling like Cruella at the 3 men who claim to be related to me in the back of the cabin....yeah, right, flight sold out to a whole bunch of men in cowboy hats!?!
After speaking with some locals I solved the mystery! The illegal migrant workers are going back to Guatemala! There are no more jobs in the States so there is no more money to send home, so they all are packing up and moving home! Boy, it seems we won't need that GIANT wall across the border anymore! hahaha--
Thursday, December 4, 2008
This man is not my husband, he is my bestest male friend ever, for 21 years and counting, his name is Alex. When I got married he became my hubby's best friend too (I have to admit I was jealous my husband stole my best friend) and when he needed a place to stay, well, he moved in. My kids call him Big Alex, it started out as Big People Alex, becasue my son is Alex and he would get confused when I would call "ALEX." Hence my son is Little People Alex, and my bud is Big People Alex. Four years later, he moved out and is now married to an AWESOME chick, we all love! That's his baby in the picture, he has a 3 year old too, we loves them.
Thanks to Jen over at Cheaper Than Therapy for Thousand Words Thursdays.