Showing posts with label old man. Show all posts
Showing posts with label old man. Show all posts

Monday, September 7, 2009

Life

I was a soldier, I was in combat, I was shot, and returned to battle a couple of months later. One time I was face to face with an enemy combatant and he fired his pistol 2 feet from my chest, I heard his weapon click, it misfired, that gave me time to pull out my weapon and shoot him point blank. From behind me, I heard my commander yell “run, run, get the Hell out of here!” Three days later I was captured and held prisoner for 32 damn months. Darling all that put together is nothing compared to these last three days.
My father has said this to me twice since I have been here, his eyes well up with tears every time, he is not exaggerating, he is dead serious when he says he would die without my mother.


My parents have been married over 50 years, my father no longer knows how to exist without my mother, how to breath, how to eat, how to wake up and get out of bed in the morning if she is not by his side. His thoughts are not so much incoherent, as they are irrelevant if she is not there to hear them and share them. Nothing makes sense to him if she is not here. This is painfully clear to me and to him, and he has told me more than once in these last few days. This is a fact that truly freaks out my poor sister, since she was alone with the first 24 hours that it took me and my oldest sister to make our way to Guatemala from Florida, and she alone bore the brunt of the immense anguish my Dad was in.

My mother had a brain aneurysm Friday night just after midnight, I was not able to get here (Guatemala) until Sunday at about 9pm. She had a stroke sometime Sunday night and was put in a medically induced coma on Monday morning. Before she was put under she would grab my father’s hand and say “Thank you, thank you for staying with me” The old man’s response was, where else would I be? I have always been here and will always be here. My Mom is 70 (Mom, if you are reading this, I’m sorry for revealing your age, I’m sure you’re not thrilled about it, but if you are able to read this then I couldn’t ask for anything more) my Dad is 75, he is a man and doesn’t mind revealing his age. He and I are big cry babies, so it is not as shocking to see his eyes tear up, as let’s say as some other men who never cry. What is shocking is the fear that was there the first few days where as he repeats to me frequently was touch and go, he shakes his head and says I almost lost her, I almost lost her.

We go back and forth from the Hospital to the house all day, and we gather little bits of good news, she opened her eyes, she moved her right hand, she wiggled her left foot, she responds to verbal commands, she squeezed my fingers, we removed the ventilator, she breaths on her own, she said Mama and she said Papa! This is not how I think of my Mother on a regular basis; she is as strong, willful woman. Smart, disciplined and daring. Now we are brought to tears of joy and relief because she said mama, our lives changed forever, none more so than her's and my father’s.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Hypochondriac My ASS!

The other day the HUBS had the audacity to insinuate that I may be a hypochondriac. Mostly because I hurt my right shoulder while drunk dancing on the 4th of July. Why is the drunken part important, because I mean really what the HELL kind of dance was I doing to actually injure my shoulder.

Take a minute and visualize this…me drunk in a monokini (not a unikini which I drunkly said all day) waving my arms around something FIERCE to injure my right shoulder. My theory is that I was churning my ass so much that the centrifugal force must have carried to my upper extremities. Why do I emphasize my RIGHT should? Because that WAS my one good shoulder. I have arthritis in my left shoulder and had surgery on it last year, awesome, great FUN, you must try it some time, really!

Anyway…I could NOT go to my Pilates class due to my post 4th injury. Mind you I paid for 20 classes like 4 months ago and it should have only taken me 1 month to use them up. This sets the freak off (the HUBS,) he starts his speech on how I have to get healthy, and have a responsibility to the family to be healthy…yadda..yadda...yadda…all I hear is the Peanuts Gang adult voices *wa-wa-woonk*wa* Now of all people, it’s true the HUBS can actually sit there and extol the virtues of exercise, the man is a MACHINE a complete BEAST, he works out at least once a day, EVERYDAY. He runs 7 miles in 7 minutes each.
Then he blames all my illnesses and surgeries on lack of exercise: Gall Bladder removal, thyroid disease, arthritis in shoulder, tonsils, c-sections, lap band (he may have a point on that one, but I never concede you know I'm big boned!) He just goes on and on and on….Me; I’m late for work and must nip this rant in the bud!

I look at him, dead in the eyes…really, lack of exercise REALLY?!? Because I have a freckle on my hoo-ha that the Dr. says needs to be biopsied! You think if I go run a MILE right now it will make the freckle go away??? I flip my hair, turn around and walk away.

That’s how you win every time; you bring on the BIG GUNS…your GYN problems.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Father's Day

Since all of you already know that I am the WORLD'S BEST WIFE....I thought I would share with you just one more reason why this statement is so utterly true.

This is what I got the hunk a hunk a HUBS for Father's Day:

In Nacho Libre's immortal words:

"When you are a man... Sometimes you wear stretchy pants... In your room... For fun."

And because when you go out, Honey, you never know when you are going to have to THROW DOWN, specially when you are with a hot piece of "arroz con pollo, with some black beans" ASS like Former Fat Chick. I mean really what am I supposed to do with all this junk, all this junk inside my trunk?

Well, I will tell you what, drag it to Pilate's 2 times a week and make it walk around the block the other days, because those 10 lbs are NOT going away...

Whatever, the HUBS is Hot as ever in his size 32 Chuck Norris Jeans....I will have to tell you all one day what a bad ass he is...

Friday, May 8, 2009

Friday Funny


My girlfriend sent this to me the other day- she said the moment she read it she thought of me......hmmmm, I wonder WHY?

Could it be the MAN drives me crazy?

I wish we knew where it came from, because it really deserves the credit!


Friday, March 20, 2009

The HUBS

We all complain about our significant others all the time, well, I know I do. But when I think about all the reasons I love the MAN, I try not to think of the obvious ones:
He's a good father
He's a good husband
He 's a good provider
etc, etc, etc
I like to think of the little things, the ones that truly make him endearing to me.
If the man ever knew I was sharing this he would probably KILL me in my sleep.
I love to read, and one of my favorite authors is Amy Tan. Years back, I got him to read on of her books and he liked it! Soon he was reading all of my Amy Tan books. One day as we were laying around in the back patio, I had finished my book and he was still reading Amy Tan, he offered to read out loud to me.
HUBS has a thick accent (he did not learn to speak English 'till he was in his late teens) so he is very self conscious and did this more as an exercise to improve his pronunciation.
So he starts reading and then he starts doing different voices for the different characters in the book. If you have never read Amy Tan, they are all woman, most very old and Asian. So here is my very butch manly man, with his thick Latin accent imitating little old Asian women, well his idea of what little old Asian women sounds like. It was the funniest thing I had ever heard in my life. So funny, I started to convulse with laughter and we both flipped right out of the hammock!
That is how I have managed to stay married to the MAN for 18.5 years!
So here is a video of the HUBS and me tubing in Colorado. It was so much FUN!
Ignore my screaming in the back round, just feast your eyes on the hunk o' hunk of burning love that is THE HUBS.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Worth a Thousand Words Thursday

This is me & the hubs on January 1st...suffering with a hangover, as I have explained before, I wasn't dead, just out partying....vodka & red bull: it's a terrible/wonderful thing.

He claims I actually begged God to stop the upchucking in return for never drinking again...

1.) this SO does not sound like me

2.) my rule: If you can't remember it happening, IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!


Besides that little misadventure, it hit me that I got married at 18 and we have been married 18 and a half years...so this means I have lived with THE MAN, longer than I lived with my Mom & Dad, that is so weird!

You can all Thank Jen over at Cheaper Than Therapy for Thousand Words Thursdays.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Worth a Thousand Words

Here is a picture from last Halloween of me and The Man, yes, yes, I know, he is The Man that drives me crazy, makes me want to beat him silly or put him in a nursing home when he turns 45, but....I have to admit, any man who would let his wife dress him up in matching sailor outfits, well, that's a GOOD MAN! I have to admit, after 18 years, he's grown on me...yeah, on my last nerve! bwa-hahaha OK, OK, I'll let you in on a secret, he's very hot, I mean very, very hot, you can't tell from this picture, well because this is the picture in which I looked the cutest (more important) I'll find a good picture of him and post it, he is Beckham hot *woo-hoo* As my inappropriate friend AJ once said " Sweetie, he could be in Gay Porn" TMI, TMI, TMI AJ! (mental note: keep an eye on AJ and 2 feet between him and The Man) Stay tuned ladies, I will post the HOT picture soon, for now enjoy the view of my "arroz con pollo" thighs and "black beans and rice" ass.

Thanks Jen!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Can we put Daddy in a nursing home?


My oldest started his Senior year yesterday, which means we are sweating the SAT's, college apps and all that stuff. It reminded me of a very funny story. A couple of years ago when he was in 9th grade, we started emphasizing the importance of excelling in High School, since colleges would be looking at the grades (yeah, like that worked) My youngest son was always just quietly listening (he was in 7th grade at the time) One day we were in the Mall, just the youngest and me and and he was holding my hand and turns to me and says: "Mommy, when Alex goes to college, I think we should send Daddy to a nursing home and you and I can move into an Apartment" It sounded like a great plan to me, but then I asked "What about Dakota?" (our 100 lbs black lab/great dane mix) His response: he'll be dead by then. Hmmmm, yeah Honey, but Daddy will only be 40 years old when Alex goes to College. My baby had a quick comeback to that one: "Yeah I know, he'll be super old!"

Well, I have one year to figure out how to get my husband into a nursing home, me and Stevie are moving into an apartment!!!!
*bwahahaha* I was going to paste a picture of my husband's head over that old man's, but I know he will have a SHIT-FIT, he doesn't even know the blogs exists!!! hahaha