Fur Babies vs. Sons

Too late to bitch now, since we have 3 boys living at home, but this is why you should consider sticking to pets vs. children.

1. You will never walk in on your dog having sex with it's girlfriend.
2. You will never catch your dog trying to get his older brother to buy beer for him and his buddies.
3. You will never get a call from a neighbor when your out of town saying there is a "funny" smell coming from your garage, cause your dog is in there with some other dogs smoking something that smells "funny."
4. Also get a call from the same neighbors because there are 15 cars in front of your house while you are out of town and people making out on the hood of a car in your driveway.
5. Your dog will never ask you repeatedly for years over and over to get a tattoo or piercing in their ears, eyebrows, lips, noses or tongues (dogs are not that stupid) or something called gages, which in turn allows you to let them run around with hair as long as Lady Godiva as a freaking compromise!
6. You will never catch two of your dogs sneaking out of the house on the same night.
7. You will never go to wash your dogs blanket and find a condom wrapper.
8. Your dog will never bark at you "you're crazy, you overreact about everything!"
9. You dog will never have 2 other dogs over and drink a case of beer and just assume you wouldn't even notice.
10. You will never have to give the sex talk to your dog, you just get the fucker spayed or neutered.

on the other hand...

1. Your kids will never chew up you favorite pink suede pumps
2. Your kids will never steal your panties form the dirty clothes and eat them (I hope)
3. Your kids won't pee and poo on your rug (mine did, potty training gone bad)
4. You don't need to follow them with a Popper scooper their whole life (once they are potty trained)
5. Your kids won't lick their own private parts (mostly because they can't reach)
6. Your kids kids won't sniff your girlfriends crotch every time she comes over (unless she's a MILF)
7. Your kids won't bite anyone (if they do they rarely break skin)
8. Your kids won't get loose and chase a neighbor barking down the street
9. If your kids ever knock someone up at least it won't be a litter of 8 (unless they are dating Octomom)
10. You kid will never get the runns when you are not home and poo all over your bed, the walls and the carpet, oh yeah and then throw up on half your shoes.

DON'T FORGET TO GET IN ON MY GIVEAWAY!!! It's freaking AWESOME!

Birthday MONEY!!!

So as you may remember my Birthday was back in February, but I have just now decided what to do with my BIRTHDAY MONEY!

I mentioned this to THE HUBS last week and his response "um, you've already spent that money like 3 times over"

HAVE NOT!!!!!- I screamed

Which he responded to- the GPS for your car, Full Moon Sleigh Ride and Dinner at the Devils Thumb Ranch in Colorado, wait the WHOLE ski trip for that matter.

The only appropriate response to his asinine allegations was SHUT UP!!!

So, here is my BIG plan with my Birthday money.

I was at an Art Festival in Mount Dora a few months back and saw a fabulous painting, I just loved it, this is it:

I don't know if you can tell, but the woman's skirt is made from real cloth. I love all of the artist's works, something about them caught my eye. All the women in the paintings were beautiful, womanly, delicate, strong and feminine, the perfect balance. Besides almost all of them had animals in them, and of those most were dogs...and well, you all know how I feel about my Little Lulu- the most gorgeous baby (you might call her a dog) on the face of the Earth.

Here is one of her doggie painting-OMG- I just ADORE them!

Well La Pequena Lulu's Birthday is coming up: May 5th, yes she is such a Latina lovely, so to commemorate our first year together, we will be commissioning a portrait by the amazing: Gena Semenov. Click on her name to see all her works, she sells prints on-line and they are truly fabulous!

This is the BEST idea I have EVER had!

WTF?!

Have you all seen this on TMZ? Z-List hottie saves Dog, NAKEY!

Now, listen I have no problemo see that hottie Eric Niles in the buff, and I would crawl on the ice to save my precious child (some freaks insist on calling her a dog) Lulu at the drop of the hat...however, um...I would have left my clothes on!!!

Why?

• it's cold
• your bare skin will be rubbing on the ice
• obviously someone with a camera is there
• and if your a man, well, you might seem a little less "appealing" in the manly area with the cold and all

JUST SAYING!

you HAVE to go over to 3 Boys 1 Mommy, she is the one hooking it up on the WTF-Wednesday

One Thousand Words...

This is my baby, Little Lulu, she thinks she is a 4 pound lap dog, she curls up in my lap in the car, on the sofa and sleeps in a "little" ball in the bed between her Mama and her Papa. But don't be fooled, she may look sweet, but you cross her and you will soon find out that just like her Mama she is a...

Oh yeah, she was digging her claws in to her Papa's back the other day and he rolled over to try and push her in to another position...no one puts Baby in a corner, so she put his hand in her mouth...she didn't chomp down, she just let him wiggle his fingers and feel her giant chompers...he rolled over and went back to sleep. If the girls can live with his snoring, I guess he can live with a paw in his back...

As always, we have Jen over at Cheaper Than Therapy to thank for Thousand Words Thursdays.

My Baby, the cutest dog on the Planet

Ok, so I just have to post this picture, because yes, I have become "one" of those people....you know, that talk about their dogs all the time, that carry pictures of them and think about them all day long...My only saving grace is that my husband has got it even worse than I do!

Her name is Little Lulu or in Spanish, La Pequena Lulu, yes, she is highly intelligent and bilingual. She has many nicknames: White Devil, Girls gone Wild and Cuca al aire...which I'm embarrassed to say means: Flash your coochie...eww, I know, but she loves to lay on her back flashing her cuca!

So her she is the cutest dog on the planet, in her floaty because she is not a good swimmer!

This is the "money shot" coochie flashing bitch running my household, oh yeah, besides ME...ha-ja