Where are you from?

This is a dreaded question, but I think the time has come in our relationship where, well, you need to know a little bit of my back round, so you can better understand me: Former Fat Chick.

In real life, when someone asks this, a few minutes after meeting me, I sigh, like this: *AHHHHHHHH* real loud and long and sort of obnoxious. Because it' not like the answer is: Pittsburgh, let's move on, it takes like 10 minutes to explain and let's face it, they could give 2 poops.

But, alas, all relationships must move forward, so here is the very complicated explanation.

Both my parents were born in Bolivia.

The immigrated to the States in the early 60's, and became American Citizens. They are both completely bi-lingual (most people think my Dad is a Gringo) but my Mom has a wicked accent (which I was unaware of until my newly wed hubs made fun of it)

My father worked an a translator for the UN in New York, and some how ended up in agricultural development program in Madison, Wisconsin (where the wicked step sisters were born), they quickly moved to Maryland where my Dad commuted to Washington DC for his job with the State Department.

They moved to Mexico- where the Virgin of Guadalupe blessed them with the miracle, after 6 years of trying to conceive non evil daughters -I was born.

Yes, I was born in Mexico- no, I am not Mexican, my father was there for 2 years working, I was granted American citizenship, it's called a birth abroad. No offense Mexico, if I was born in Africa because my Dad worked there, I wouldn't consider my self African.

Back to Silver Springs, Maryland

Off the Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic (2 years)

Back to Silver Springs, MD (pre-k, kinder, 1st & 2nd grade)

San Jose, Costa Rica (1.5 years)

Bogota, Colombia (3.5 years)

Miami, Florida (6 months)

Guatemala City, Guatemala (4 years, 8th- 11th grade)

Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic (12th grade, class of 1990)

San Salvador, El Salvador (2 years) *my first son was born here

FYI- San Salvador is a short drive form Guatemala, so that summer, after graduation I kept on going back to Guatemala to hook up with my boyfriend (THE HUBS) and well, we got married on August 31, 1990 (I skipped the champagne toast, if you get my drift)

back to Silver Springs, MD (1.5 years) *my second son was born here- we had to prove to the Family that he hadn't knocked me to get married and get a green card- OK, it's funny now, but my Dad really didn't find it to amusing when I was 20 and had 2 kids. woops!

Miami, Florida (12.5 years) boy, were they LOOOOOOOONG years

Orlando, Florida (just over 2 years) *where my daughter Lulu was brought home, the bestest puppy in the world!

I am an American of Latin American descent, who grew up in States, South America, Central America and the Caribbean....any questions?

Let me answers some that I swear people have asked me over the years, yes ignorant people, but these questions we asked of me the same:

Guatemala? Is that in Africa?

In Colombia, can you just do drugs ALL the time, for free?

Do you live in trees?

Do you have cars?

Are they like, wild animals walking in the streets?

Do you live in a hut?

So you live in Mexico! (no, Guatemala is a WHOLE other country)

Wow, how come your English is so good if your Mexican? (um, I'm and American and live in Guatemala)

Wow, you're really tall and WHITE, I mean for a Mexican. *sigh*

So your from El Salvador and your the nanny for those blond kids? (no, I am their mother)

Things I learned over the Holidays

• Door Busters sales are usually nothing you’d bust a door down for
• Just because you “fit” in the clothes in the junior department doesn’t meant you should buy or wear the clothes in the juniors department, unless you are a COUGAR, and don't mind everyone knowing.
• At 36, “BABY PHAT” is not a good thing
• A size 8 in the woman’s’ department is nowhere near a size 8 in the Juniors Department
• Those stupid coupons you clip and print and carry in your purse for days NEVER apply to the one thing you want to buy! (unless it is Bed Bath & Beyond)
• You’re finally a grown up when you spend your Christmas cash on a new crock pot and a good steamer! The realization sucks!
• It is a true Christmas miracle when on the Sunday after Christmas (after eating nonstop since Thanksgiving, with daily consumption of chocolate) you can walk into Express and buy a size 8 (down from a size 10 in the summer) pair of jeans for $23! Wooooooo-hoooooooo! Thank you 8lbs 6 ounce Baby Jesus! Hallelujah!!

Worth a Thousand Words Thursday-

This is how we carol....with MARACAS baby!

And this is our Nativity....not sold at Hallmark

Merry Christmas! Feliz Navidad!

You can all Thank Jen over at Cheaper Than Therapy for Thousand Words Thursdays.