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Could you use $500 worth of new clothes?

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Show me the MONEY!

New Fashion Find!

Let's start at this...my toe has been hurting. I mean really hurting. So much I was in pain every time I had to push the clutch in to shift gears in my car. Yeah, I drive a stick shift, you know I am a bad ass.

Anyway, it is my second toe the one next to my big toe on my left foot. I ignored it for a long time, but then it started to feel funny, like pins and needles and spread to my big toe. My assistant said that's never damage, that scared me and I went to a podiatrist.

Guess what I have!? Capsulitis of the Second Toe! It's when your second toe is deformed and longer than the your big toe and causes your weight to unevenly distribute itself on you second toe instead of the big one. And having that caused:
Morton’s neuroma- nerve damage!

He then shove a GINORMOUS needle in my second toe with a shot of cotizone and told me to:

• no more flip flop
• no more bare feet
• no more high heels

You need to buy orthopedic shoes. AHHHHHHH! I have been in a deep depresion and that is why I have not posted! Remember me, the woman with 5 pairs od pink high heels, and 6 pairs of red ones. The woman with shoes hidden in crates in the garage, under the bed and the attic.

I am happy to announce I have finally found a pair of orthopedic shoes I can be happy wearing: BEHOLD!
Pierced for the freak in me!

The best part of all is that they go perfectly with the the tittay scarf I got for Christmas!!!

I Love me some Shani Davis

I love me some Shani Davis, I mean really, could he be an cuter?

Could he be more adorable? An inner- city kid from Chi-town, raised by a single Mom!

Love IT! However, all I could think about all night last was:


HONEY, where is my suit?

You tell me WHERE MY SUIT IS WOMAN!

Is that WRONG?

OH! Also, BOGO is going on at Payless, so yesterday I went to Dillard's and bought 2 pairs of RED shoes, some AWESOME Steve Madden suede retro pumps with a ruffle, freaking ADORABLE, and some HOT ASS BCBG strappy sandals totally bejeweled out, with gold metal heels, MUY CALIENTE Floozy shoes!

*FYI- if you have not red my blog before, I tell my husband I buy my shoes at Payless when BOGO is going on, so he thinks they are CHEAP, which means I have to buy then 2 at a time!

It's a F'ing Miracle!!!

OK, I know I said I was going to write about all those zany stories, and I am sure you are all on the edge of your seats just waiting for them....but I was literally touched by the hand of GOD today, in of all places; Burlington Coat Factory...yes, strange but true. I have always been a bargain shopper, and yes, I am cheap, and almost always proud of it, which mortifies my husband, who once said "Do you have to tell EVERYONE your jacket cost you $4.99" well, duh...HELL to the YES!

But, I digress...I took the two hairy ones back to school shopping today, and because I am cheap and they want name brands that means: Ross, Marshall's or bottom of the barrel: Burlington Coat Factory. So, it is pretty much in the ghetto, and you better get out of the parking lot before dark, but the bargain are fabulous.

The Shaggy Do and Saggy Don't go tons of very cute skater clothes, and I of course floated to the women's area...all dress were 40% off...hmmmm, interesting.....

And there it was, angels singing *aaaaaa* in the back round, and absolutely adorable dress: Tahari, nice, red slash, red slash, plus 40% off $16.89...wait, for it, wait for it; SIZE 6.

Yes, I fit in it!!!!Oh MY DOG!

So what if it's tight, specially around the BUTT, please, do you know how many years of rice and beans are in the padding of this ass of mine? I may look white on the outside, but I have an "arroz con pollo" ass. No worries, I still have panty girdles and dammit I will wear that size 6 dress to work tomorrow....photos to come!

So, I'm wearing the dress, with the spandex panty girdle (the one's that look like bicycle shorts) on, looks good, but I can't bend over or you can see those ATTRACTIVE, SEXY, HOT grandma panty girdle! ha-ha

Now, here is the proof: a size 6...could it be vanity sizing? That sucks...