What Sandra Bullock should do

I am sure many of you out there are like me and have been thinking about Sandra Bullock non-stop. No? Not really, well, wateves.

I have. Just the same as I thought about Elin for days and days. Why? Hell if I know! I think about everything all the time non-stop, random and unrelated to me. Sometimes I actually have things to do that are pertinent to my life and I don"t do them because I am busy thinking of things that are absolutely irrelevant to me.

Any who!? Moving along, I feel bad for Sandra in a way I would feel bad if it happened to my girlfriends. Like I want to get drunk with her and go egg Jesse James house or worse, much much worse.

I felt so bad for her because, really she had no choice. She had to get a divorce. Unlike Elin, she has a career which is very visible. I mean really if she stayed married, she would have to account to be being married to a Nazi (as some people claim) at every press junket for the rest of her life. Her husband's poor choices would affect her career, all this on top of the complete humiliation of the cheating from her scum spouse in the public eye forever and ever.

But now that I have come to terms with Sandy's (were tight like that) situation and when I saw the cover with her gorgeous little boy, I felt like she is going to be OK.

She will trudge through this and have her precious baby and here is the kicker....

When she is good and ready, she needs to call her old boyfriend up: RYAN GOSLING and get a little cougar lovin.....because really who couldn't use a little more HOT CANADIAN in their lives...

And in honor of that hot hunk of man- Ryan Gosling- and my mental revelation: What Sandy needs is some HOT COUGAR LOVE- check out this hilarious blog-
Fuck YEAH! Ryan Gosling!

The Best Commercial Ever

Lost, so lost

We are family addicted to LOST, and by family I mean, my sisters, their husbands, my nieces and nephews, my kids, and of course my Mom.

One of the funniest moments when she was in the hospital, came via Lost. Everyday we would cringe when she was not sure what day it was, what city she was in, thinking the male nurse was her friend form the University of Maryland in 1976, yeah, crazy ass confusion.

One afternoon I am visiting and I find a re-run of Lost on TV, knowing she loves it, I leave it on and start working on some reports for works while my Mom is watching. Suddenly she says "Ooooohhh, it's Penny" ssssssscheeeeeeech! WTF?! She knew exaclty who Penny was a goes on to tell me about Penny and Desmond, and her horrible father Charles Widemore. Yeah, that was CRAZY.

When we got her home to Guatemala, my sister brought over the boxed sets of Lost and we watched a couple of episode every night.

Every night she would ask- Who do you like better the Doctor or Sawyer? (only in Spanish so she would call him El Doctorsito) In Spanish you and an "ito" on the end of things to make them diminutive or a term of endearment. Amor become Amorsito, like baby talk.

Every night I would answer: That's a tough one Mom. I mean that's why I love Lost so much. One week Sayid is my favorite hottie, next week it's Jack, then I loved me some Mr. Echo, and sometimes I love Kim.

Mom interjects- Oh yes, very handsome Korean man.

I finish: but when it comes down to it Mom, I'm a sucker for the Bad boys....so I gotta to say Sawyer.

Mom says, me too, I like Lost, it's like a United Color of Benetton of good looking men!

I must agree EYE CANDY of all my favorite manly FLAVORS!

So wrong, so VERY wrong

How can something that looks SO yummy be so wrong?

Yes, ladies and gays, I am talking about the hotnastyness that is Taylor Lautner.

I have held my tongue for long enough, my adoration for him has been silenced too long.

In here lies my dilemma: he is the same age as my youngest son. EWWWWWWWWWWWW!

So wrong, so very very wrong.

Now here lies my redemption. I have seen my kids friends, I have been to their school and I HAVE NEVER seen any kids that looks anywhere near as hot as Taylor Lautner. Because, if I was a teacher and Taylor Lautner was my student, I would so go all Mary Kay Letourneau on his fine ASS!

However the other day was a complete fail, as I was watching Entertainment Tonight and they flashed that picture on the screen, I let out a stifled cry "ugh, so wrong"

Of course my older son (who is 18) was walking by and quickly pointed out- "Mom, you know that kid is Stevie's age"

I screamed: I know so wrong, so DAMN wrong!

Friday Mish Mash

I love Google, what on earth did we do before the Internet. For example, if let's just say, you had to find out why someones poop is bright green, what did you do before the Internet? Did you call your Mom? The Doctor, or just suffer in agony thinking something was very wrong with you. Well it turns out that bright green poo can be caused by eating a BOAT LOAD of Jelly beans or Skittles. Now, all I am going to say is that the producer of the bright green poo eats about a pound of candy a day, but said person also runs 7 miles, 6 days a week, so said person can get away with eating 3 pounds of candy a day, but was freaked out by the glow in the dark green poo. It is obviously not me, I will only run if some with a knife is chasing me, and then I would consider just laying down and letting them kill rather than wasting my time pretending I could out run a knife wielding maniac.

Last night I had a dream that I was dating Mathew Mcconaughey, but he wasn't famous. He was really nice and we were going to buy a nice new house together. Oh, and I had a little brother and Mathew was so sweet to him. I think the dream was more of a fantasy of getting a new house, rather than dating Mathew. I mean he isn't even on my 10 ten list.

Here is my top ten list, it changes all the time.

My Top 10 lest of Hot Ass Men *in no particular order

1. Alonzo Mourning (I have met him in person a couple of time and OMG)
2. Dwayne Johnson- The Rock
3. Dennis Quiad
4. Ryan Reynolds
5. Jason Statham
6. Jeff Goldblum
7. Carlos Ponce (have met him too, oh my...drool)
8. Ryan Gosling
9. David Beckham
10. Eric Bana

Ladies and gays, if you do not know who any of these men are I encourage you to look them up on Google Images, deliciosos!

Going to see Inglorious Bastereds as a family tonight- ahhh, wholesome family time

Is it wrong that I yelled at a lady on 1-4 yesterday "Lady! You're a f*cking Maniac" with my oldest in the car? Wait...before you judge me

1. My son is 18
2. She seriously almost killed us
3. It was so bad my son actually took off his Ipod and said "Dude, that lady needs to learn to drive"
4. Is it wrong that my kids call me Dude?

Happy Weekend!