Who does the Internet think I AM?

So, most of you now know I have a weird name, first and last, this blog started out as something anonymous, but well, not anymore.

The problem with my name: Ylla, is well, that sometimes people do not know if I am a man or a woman (not in person, in person you can tell I am a woman) and I get some strange e-mails, which reminds me of a funny boob story, when I tell people I started going to bars and clubs at 15 people ask: Didn't you get carded? I always say "yeah, I had I (point to right boob).D (point to left boob.)" ha-ha, the power of boobs is awesome. Anyway back to the original story.

I think the Internet thinks I'm a man, a man in need to enhancement in the pipirichi area!

Wait thinks I'm a BALD MAN?

Thinks I am an OLD (ish) BALD SINGLE MAN?
I'm totally screwed! Wait...

OK, OK, the Internet thinks I am woman, and that I go to the gym?!? ha-ha, silly Internet!

Wait, a woman that gives a crap about LAUNDRY! hahaha, right!

Wait, the Internet, she knows am a woman now, a girl blogger and she thinks I want to make money off the Internet?! What the HELL does she think I blog for? Jeeez, I've already made $24.87 from AdSense and it only took me 12 months!

Last but not least, the Internet exacts her final revenge on me: she sends me this...BITCH knows I can't afford those Manolo Blahniks! She just wants me to suffer in my Nine West pumps...unless she is sending me a sign, yes an Internet sign, she wants me to HAVE these shoes, she knows I DESERVE these shoes, she wants ONE of you (a rich one) to send me these shoes (size 8.5), you can get them on-line at Barney's with complimentary free shipping.

We MUST obey the Internet(specially you.)

enough about you...MORE about me...

I live with 4 stinky, hairy men: 1 I married (I was bamboozled, as I was only 18) 1 I inherited with the husband and 2 I birthed (my own body betrayed me and gave me boys), I am quite feminine and adore being a girl! Thank God they have all learned that I am the QUEEN of the house and I must be obeyed, this makes things much more bearable in my home. I thank my lucky stars that my sister, Coco (better known to you, as evil-stepsister#1) happened about blogging and all these amazing sites (she is a stay at home Mom of 1 little girl and she has a live in, she obviously has plenty of time to “research” blogs!)

In my mind I am Lucy Ricardo, I already have the hot Latin husband with a funny accent, minus the night club job, he's Ricky! I am in desperate need of my Ethel (if you're hot that's good, just not hotter than me)So ladies, if you need a crazy Latin lady friend and are up for crazy missions, non-stop shopping, never ending gossip, I am ready, willing, and able, besides being cute, funny and genetically predisposed to just the right amount of insanity! I will even throw in my sister’s as an added friend, she is a nut, and so is her daughter! She is raising the ULTIMATE diva, I fear that in 20 years my niece will be running rampant thinking she is the Queen of the World! As long as I can tag along (yes, I will still be wearing a bikini and drinking many vodka cocktails) it should be GREAT fun!

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