Just Yesterday- twice!

Just yesterday, I flashed two old men sitting in my office. I truly thought those awkward days were left in my late teens.

It all started early in the morning when it was 50 degrees outside, I mean really, I laid out at the pool on Saturday and come Monday it was cold again!

The chilly weather prompted me to wear a black a-line mini skirt jumper with a magenta knit mock turtle neck. The jumper is rather short, but was fine as I pulled on a pair of black tights and some black ballet mary jane's. It really is a super cute outfit.

Two older gentleman were sitting in the guest chairs in front of my desk, as we went over a contact that they were signing. They signed, I signed, they gave me a check, I got up to walk across my office and make copies for them.

Well, I have a big leather chair and apparently sliding around in it caused it to cover my big ass in static cling. When I stood up and turned away from them to go to the copier, my dress was stuck mid way around my waist. It took me about four steps to realize and pull it down. Of course I pretended like nothing had happened, but as soon as those two men left I RAN to the bathroom to see just how bad the flash had been.

I checked the stalls they were empty, I back up to see myself in the mirror and pull up my dress to get a look at just how much of a show I had given them. You know how black tights are so DARK by your feet, but then when the fabric is stretched to it's capacity it is very light and see through?

Yeah....they got a good look at my BIG round SUPER white butt under those tights...and I am sorry to say there were no granny panties involved in this incident....just then the bathroom door opens! AHHHHH! I flashed 3 people in one day! Thank Blog it was my assistant and well, the poor thing just doesn't even ask questions anymore. Any theories on the exhibitionist in me?

And as always thanks to TOVA for helping us share!

My pervy co-worker, Smell my Finger

Back to the all girls Catholic school, which is where I met SuperGF, we worked together, shared a love of gossip rags and celebrity bashing websites, and quickly became as the girls called us : BFF's. On a serious note, she is the sweetest, most adorable and best listner in the WORLD, granted she is a mental health professional, so it's kind of her job :) I don't think I had ever told anyone else as many of my truly crazy thoughts than to her, and never once did I feel judged. Except that one time I told her I couldn't eat eggs(which I love), because they made me think I was eating chicken abortions when I bit the yolk and made me want to hurl, that time she kind of laughed.

The day before Thanksgiving break, which we thought we had off, but thanks to some hurricane make up day was made a teacher work day, the head Nun made us come in for an 8 hour seminar. Don't get me wrong I LOVE the head nun, she kicks ass and is my idol, but 8 hrs listening to some speaker about something that in no way applies to me was a tad bit boring. After lunch when I was really getting antsy, I started taking off my jewelry and cleaning it with a little cloth I had in my purse. When I took off my wedding band (which is very wide, and I never take off) I noticed my finger smelled....gross. So I lean over to my SuperGF and told her "ewww, I took off my ring and my finger stinks, because I never take my rings off." She then removes her rings, brings her hand towards her face and in the most PERVY way EVER takes a big slow, deep whiff of her finger and totally makes a "O" face, and moans a little. I wanted to bust my seems laughing, but since I was in a room with clergy, was forced to silence my laugh, which made me convulse violently...the next thing I remember was the head Nun's hand on my shoulder "are you alright, dear?" How does it feel to be called out for lauging in class by a Nun, when you're in your mid 30's? Embarrasing and hilarious.