HOT coffee in my BUTT crack!

Oh yes, it seems every Friday the trip to Dunkin Donuts get more aggravating and this week DOWN RIGHT DANGEROUS! I had to buy two coffees, 2 dozen assorted donuts and 4 bags of whole beans for the coffee machine here in the office. Well, that is A LOT to carry.

As I pulled up to my office I got out of my little mini and walked to the co-pilot's side to unload all the DD crap and figure out how to carry it upstairs. First I pulled out the 2 coffees, one which I had been sipping on the way to work and had the little mouth hole open, and placed the cup holder on top of the mini. Then I bent over to pull out the 2 dozen donuts and 4 bags of coffee and the holder slipped off the top of my car and tumbled down my back side, dripping (thank GOD the lids were on TIGHT) hot coffee all down my butt crack *OUCH*, then the fell to the ground and spilled every where. Of course I screamed out all sorts of FOUL obscenities in English and Spanish, really truckers within 25 miles simultaneously blushed!

So, I carry everything in and go to the bathroom to clean up and when I look in the mirror I realize what a complete dumb ass I am. I WAS going to wear a blue stripped shirt this morning, but changed my mind after I was dressed and changed to light pink shirt, what I didn't CHANGE was the light blue bra (yea, I am one of those matchy-matchy freaks) I was wearing which you can clearly see through the pink shirt RIGHT NOW! And not in a COOL way like when Gwen Stefani wears a black bra under a white t-shirt.

Lets' move on to my jeans...which now have a coffee stain on the back side, which looks like I was in some cardio class and had butt sweat, I can actually hear the thread in the seams of my jeans SCREAMING for mercy as I type this...HELP, PLEASE, some one get this FAT ASS out of me! Yes, people it's true, they are tight as tight can be and I am rocking a wicked muffin top, oh hotness to BOOT!

I am breaking down and buying a pair of jeans tomorrow. I'll tell you how that crap went on Monday, I am sure it will involve TEARS, SWEAT and plenty of booze...I plan on going to NY&CO because they are crazy with the vanity seizing! Pray for me girls, pray for me!

Meme- I was tagged

I've been tagged by Piece 'o Coconut Cake!Here are the Rules:1.Link to the person that tagged you2.Post the rules on your blog3.Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself4.Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs5.Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.6.Let your tagger know when your entry is UP.

oh, randomness, where art thou....

1. I held on to a pair of size 4 Guess Jeans for 20 years, just in case they ever fit again, they are acid wash.

2. If I could fit my large, arroz con pollo thighs and Iris Chacon ass in those jeans, I would wear them every day, acid wash and all.

3. My godfather, a good friend of my father's actually offered to "get rid" of my husband when my father told him I was pregnant and getting married, I was 18. I found this out 5 years ago.

4. I have lived in 7 countries and 3 different states, I moved every 2 or4 years as a child. I get sudden urges to change jobs or move homes every 2 to 4 years. The nomad in me doesn't go away.

5. I want to be a Flight Attendant when my youngest goes to college, in 2.5 years (this is not a joke) or I will find a job in Dubai for a 3 year contract (one of these 2 will happen)

6. I was once a singer in a pop group with a #1 hit, this was in Central America, so I don't think it counts as much,as like being Tiffany or something. Since I moved so much, I have no pictures or video, or even recordings. I did however find some newspaper clipings, just in case one day I have to prove it.

I have no one to tag, becasue my sister stole them all....very sucky!

1. Hot Wheel Mama- she's one hot mama!
2. Posey- she is SOOOO charming!
3. Happy Hour Sue- I'm obsessed with her, she is up with w/ Tina Fey funny!
4. Jamey- because she is crafty!
5. Mrs. 4444- her car full of beer was the best pic ever!
6. Jen- the ultimate Mom-ultimate!