Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Thank GOD for Granny panties!

I have come to realize that many of my stories of awkwardness involve people seeing my bare ass. This one in particular was quite embarrassing…and was all my cat’s fault.

We had a cat, he was a wild one, he was part Siamese part wildcat, he was my sister’s for a few years but when she left to college he was mine all mine. He would disappear for a few days if he found a girlfriend and he was always on the hunt. Leaving lovely gifts for me under my bed (mice, birdies) he really loved me, and I adored him. He was getting long in the tooth and we would be moving to another country in a few months, so I was extra careful to keep an eye on him. Now, in unrelated activities, I was 17 and refused to wear pajamas, this drove my extremely proper Mother (a woman who has never been drunk in her life) insane. I had decided to sleep in the nude, well, after a battle royal (if there is an earthquake you’ll run out in the street nude!) I realized she had a point, so the compromise was that I would slumber in a t-shirt and undies.
One night as I was sound asleep I heard my cat SCREAMING, my lord it sounded like he was dying! He was in some sort of brawl with some wild animal, most likely a raccoon or opossum (ewww!) I bolted up and without thinking opened my balcony door (only a few feet off the ground) jumped out, opened the front gate and started running around looking for him…the fight was ragging and sounded worse than ever! That’s when I spotted the cat he ran under the neighbor’s front gate and under their car, he was howling, I was sure he was dying. Without thinking I ran across the street, crawled under the gate (it was on an incline and easy to do) and then got on my hands and knees and tried to reach my cat. He was so scared; I stretched my arms out, trying to coax him to come to me, ass in the air. Now all I have to say was THANK GOD it was the 80’s and I wore some good old fashioned granny panties, none of this thong business was going on back then. The immense ruckus must have awaken the neighbors, let me be more specific, the 17 & 18 year old brothers who lived in that house and their father because they came out with a FLASHLIGHT! There I was, HIGH MOON, spotlight shining on my ass, with my head under their car, in their carport. Well, the damn cat came out, and he was fine, I however, lowered my head every time I saw those boys until the day that we thankfully moved to another country.
Oh, TOVA DARLING, thank you for embracing our awkwardness...


  1. Ah ah!..and you were lucky there were no cellphone with a camera or internet!The whole world would have seen that scene!!

  2. You can thank your mother for her sage advice. You'd have been out there bare ass naked! Freakin' cats...

  3. Please post photos.

    If no photos available, please reenact and take photos.

    Then post them.


I love you Darling, really! Thank you!