I have a confession to make....remember those size 8 jeans I bought the week after Christmas, you know the one's I called my Christmas Miracle....well, they DON'T FIT ANYMORE! Why? Because Former Fat Chick, yeah that's me- well, I gained 10 lbs! 10lbs from Christmas 'till now? I am so confused? How did I loose weight from Halloween through Thanksgiving, through Christmas to New Years?! All I did for that entire time was stuff my face AND drink like an EFFing fish!
Here's the deal, my fatal condition, is all to blame. The first week of May I am going under and they are removing my lap band, which has been helping me loose weight consistently for the last 7 years. It has not been working for quite some time now, hence the weight gain.
Even if I were to seek and alternate surgical procedure, I would have to wait 6 months for my tore up stomach to heal, oh yeah and I would have to have $15,000 to spend on it, since my insurance won't even talk about it with my surgeon.
Apparently, are you siting down? No hard stuff around you, 'cause you surely will fall out your chair...um, I am going to HAVE to DIET & EXERCISE! What the FRENCH! Me....yeah, like that shiz is gonna work...maybe I should start asking for money, like that chick who wants a nice wedding and asks for mula, only I will post my before and after pictures and ask people to donate to help me from becoming a BIG FAT Momma again....I have pictures of my fat ass that will make blind men cringe, I am sure I can devise a plan of extorting money for not tourturing people with the cottage cheeseyness of my former saddle bags.
So, I have started eating healthier, and I having started walking my dog (she doesn't know what the hell is going on, she's pretty annoyed I am pushing her out of bed in the am to walk) I only had 3 drinks the WHOLE weekend, but here is the cornerstone of my plan:
I have always gotten rid of clothing the minute they are a little to big, as not to have any "comfortable fat" clothes. So right now, everything is VERY tight. And I have refused to buy any clothes, however i found this dress on-line, and I am going to buy it!
If I gain 1 more pound I am going to have to wear it and I will wear that damn dress every day until I lose some weight and something else fits me...
Here's the dress, what do you think? Will it work? Wanna send me some money?This dress is all sort of wrong....if you own the same one, OMG, I am sorry I offended you , but you may need a wardrobe makeover. And if you are the women in the picture, I am sorry they made you wear that dress, and I am sorry I am too stupid and lazy to figure out how to black your head out, further humiliating you.