Monday, April 6, 2009

Mumu's R Us- HERE I COME!

I have a confession to make....remember those size 8 jeans I bought the week after Christmas, you know the one's I called my Christmas Miracle....well, they DON'T FIT ANYMORE! Why? Because Former Fat Chick, yeah that's me- well, I gained 10 lbs! 10lbs from Christmas 'till now? I am so confused? How did I loose weight from Halloween through Thanksgiving, through Christmas to New Years?! All I did for that entire time was stuff my face AND drink like an EFFing fish!
Here's the deal, my fatal condition, is all to blame. The first week of May I am going under and they are removing my lap band, which has been helping me loose weight consistently for the last 7 years. It has not been working for quite some time now, hence the weight gain.

Even if I were to seek and alternate surgical procedure, I would have to wait 6 months for my tore up stomach to heal, oh yeah and I would have to have $15,000 to spend on it, since my insurance won't even talk about it with my surgeon.

Apparently, are you siting down? No hard stuff around you, 'cause you surely will fall out your, I am going to HAVE to DIET & EXERCISE! What the FRENCH! Me....yeah, like that shiz is gonna work...maybe I should start asking for money, like that chick who wants a nice wedding and asks for mula, only I will post my before and after pictures and ask people to donate to help me from becoming a BIG FAT Momma again....I have pictures of my fat ass that will make blind men cringe, I am sure I can devise a plan of extorting money for not tourturing people with the cottage cheeseyness of my former saddle bags.

So, I have started eating healthier, and I having started walking my dog (she doesn't know what the hell is going on, she's pretty annoyed I am pushing her out of bed in the am to walk) I only had 3 drinks the WHOLE weekend, but here is the cornerstone of my plan:

I have always gotten rid of clothing the minute they are a little to big, as not to have any "comfortable fat" clothes. So right now, everything is VERY tight. And I have refused to buy any clothes, however i found this dress on-line, and I am going to buy it!

If I gain 1 more pound I am going to have to wear it and I will wear that damn dress every day until I lose some weight and something else fits me...

Here's the dress, what do you think? Will it work? Wanna send me some money?
This dress is all sort of wrong....if you own the same one, OMG, I am sorry I offended you , but you may need a wardrobe makeover. And if you are the women in the picture, I am sorry they made you wear that dress, and I am sorry I am too stupid and lazy to figure out how to black your head out, further humiliating you.


  1. found your blog through some other blog that i found through some other blog....and well it is a cycle lol
    What funny post! I do the same thing (throwing out baggy stuff as i lose) welcome to the world of diet and excerise! IT SUCKS! lol
    But I am sure you'll do great
    Shelly and gang

  2. good luck Ylla on this new journey.. LOL.. I'm in the same vote... it just sucks!! but try and think of your size 8 jeans that'll soon fit if u keep up the 'lean cuiscines' LOL
    =) I'll be rooting for ya all the way from the West Coast...

  3. So, do you think the lap band was worth it or not worth it. I so need to do something about my fat ass.

  4. Haha! Nice dress. But you have to get the shoes, too.

    Diet and exercise suck, but I bet you can do it! Good work!

  5. I think you can do it. I don't think you would look good in a mumu!

  6. Here's the problem I'd have...I'd buy the dress, and on a fat day wear it. And be comfortable in it. And eat too much because I was comfortable in it. Then put on my other clothes to "punish" myself. Eventually I'd go back to that dress with absolutely no accountability until it was too freaking tight because I'm not much on sticking through on "punishing" myself. Don't do it...I beg you!

  7. haha this is too funny. dont wear the mumu!
    good luck with the working out - just keep a variety going so you dont get sick of it too quickly!


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