I wasn't going to leave you all hanging over the weekend, so here is the exciting conclusion too my bikini wax.
I hop up on the table and she starts making me get in all these yoga positions and telling me, OK, you grab here, hold here. I was literally an active participant of my own torture.
This went on for like what seemed an eternity and every time I was just about to pull the plug and say, NO MORE! I would look up at her and she would give me a big smile and 2 thumbs up! OMG, I had to stifle my laughter every time! It was like looking up at Mr. Miagi with a wig and lipstick and then she would say " You doin good, You doin so good!"Always with a HUGE smile on her face. I am sure I caught her enjoying herself, every time I cringed or writhed in pain.
What did she mean I was doing a good job? What was I doing? Beside not crying out in pain, as to not run off the customers just outside the door. Just then my cell phone, which is on the counter rings and she passes it to me.
I just stare at her. I AM NOT one of those people who are cell phone crazy, you know the ones you can hear chatting while they are using a toilet in a public restroom?
Lana: Go ahead, it's Ok, you tlak on the phone.
And since it seems that I doing EVERYTHING this woman tells me to do today, I answer. Of course it's THE HUBS, I mean really, who else calls me 300 times a day (only the boys, when they need $$$ or a ride.)
HUBS: WHAT'S WRONG? WHAT HAPPENED?! ARE YOU OK?
Apparently just the HELLO had conveyed that I was in EXTREME pain and distress, he has heard that tone of voice a few times, which are always followed by trips to the ER.
Me: I am getting waxed, and it's hurts like a MOFO!
He did not call back. He wants nothing to do with that sort of thing, he only likes to reap the benefits.
She finished the waxing and took to me with tweezers making sure she got every stray! By that time, I was sure I was in shock as I felt nothing.
Well, soon enough it was over, she slapped some talcum power on me and sent me on my way. And that my friend is the story of Lana my new wax lady.
* to answer a few questions (I don't want to be too graphic, what if a creepy guy is reading this, EWW~ or worse if the HUBS sees it, he'll just die!)
- I can not shave, it irritates my skin to no degree, so does waxing, but it goes away within hours
- I don't wax EVERYTHING
- I don't even do the Brazilian
- I do the Tahitian (not as drastic) - look it up, cause I am not making a diagram of my privates.
I do have another waxing story, I will post it soon, but it doesn't involve me....it's about a place called THE DUNGEON in South Beach- Toddles chicas-