Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Big Mama Boobies

Last night we went out to dinner with some new friends, we met through some mutual friends and they just moved to the area so they have NO friends here, thus they have taken up with us. ha-ha I kid, I kid, I just know everyone is just dying to be my BFF so I can blog about them and make them famous, it's the HUBS, no one loves him, he scares people, that's the reason we have so few couple friends. Like I said: I KID!

Regardless, we went out to dinner, with our new friends, as it was the new couples husband's Birthday. It was super yummers and walking to the cars we were talking about strip clubs (don't ask) and both men agreed, they NO like. I am sure all married men say this, but my new guy friend was specific, he does not like some nasty boobies in his face, that he doesn't know where they have been. Apparently stripper boobies are dirty, we keep walking, his wife is making a "yeah right buddy" face.

  • Wait, important part of the story is what I was wearing. We have beat "the 10lbs that won't leave" like a dead horse, and all my clothes makes me look like an over packed sausage, so I have taken to wearing those Maxi Dresses that are in this Summer. This works out wonderfully because the ta-tas have grown exponentially and work as the best detractor of the train wreak that is the rest of my bloated body. So of course, this is what I was wearing last night, it's like my new uniform.
  • Second, important tid-bit, the Birthday boy was carrying his four year old on his shoulders, a GIANT & strong 4 year old (really the Daddy is 6'4)

We get to the cars, I go to give the Birthday boy a Happy Birthday/Good night hug, he's 6'4, so he bends over, I am 5'6 to I tippy toe up. Just then the 4 year old, who I now know LOVES me, wraps his hands around my head and pulls down to hug and kiss me. I am overwhelmed by little little kid love and linger in the sweet 4 year old kiss and hug. All the while oblivious that the kid has shoved his Dad's head right in the the BIG MAMA cleavage.

When I step back Birthday Boy says: Well, I guess now I don't need to go to a strip club.

Oh! Boobies in the face of the new couple friends husband, not good and VERY AWKWARD!

Good to be back at Tova's for Totally Awkward Tuesdays!


  1. That is awesome. How do these things happen to you?

  2. OMG, love it!

    At least you'll always have something to talk about, right?!

  3. Usually my diet meter goes something like this...

    Yeah the diet is working!! How can I tell? My bras are too big.

    Perfect. That's not where I wanted to lose the weight from.

  4. LOL, that's awkward all right, but funny!

  5. Something must be wrong with your computer. I still haven't received any pictures.

    OK. I'll go back to waiting.

  6. Dr. Zibbs, I would send them, but then Guatemala Chuch Norris (aka the HUBS) would have to kill you, after all he did pay for the new and improved FFC.

  7. I would have liked to see his wife's face! ha

  8. Hahahhahah....Way too funny.His words were perfect.

  9. umm, I'm the birthday hubby... and I'd like to say that your boobies were nicer than stripper boobies for a few reasons.

    1. I know where they've been and I like your husband so I guess that's ok.

    2. You don't smell like a mix of stipper perfume, baby oil, and men's musk.

    3. My wife was present so she knows I was thrusted into the bosom of another woman.

    4. Unlike a strip club, I didn't see these boobies coming.

  10. Anonymous = Birthday Boy, too funny! Glad you enjoyed the Birthday gift...this could be your "new" thing, train your Son to do it everytime you say goodbye to a woman! I will get you strange boobie while being OK w/ the wifey! ha-ha


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