Too late to bitch now, since we have 3 boys living at home, but this is why you should consider sticking to pets vs. children.
- You will never walk in on your dog having sex with it's girlfriend.
- You will never catch your dog trying to get his older brother to buy beer for him and his buddies.
- You will never get a call from a neighbor when your out of town saying there is a "funny" smell coming from your garage, cause your dog is in there with some other dogs smoking something that smells "funny."
- Also get a call from the same neighbors because there are 15 cars in front of your house while you are out of town and people making out on the hood of a car in your driveway.
- Your dog will never ask you repeatedly for years over and over to get a tattoo or piercing in their ears, eyebrows, lips, noses or tongues (dogs are not that stupid) or something called gages, which in turn allows you to let them run around with hair as long as Lady Godiva as a freaking compromise!
- You will never catch two of your dogs sneaking out of the house on the same night.
- You will never go to wash your dogs blanket and find a condom wrapper.
- Your dog will never bark at you "you're crazy, you overreact about everything!"
- You dog will never have 2 other dogs over and drink a case of beer and just assume you wouldn't even notice.
- You will never have to give the sex talk to your dog, you just get the fucker spayed or neutered.
on the other hand...
- Your kids will never chew up you favorite pink suede pumps
- Your kids will never steal your panties form the dirty clothes and eat them (I hope)
- Your kids won't pee and poo on your rug (mine did, potty training gone bad)
- You don't need to follow them with a Popper scooper their whole life (once they are potty trained)
- Your kids won't lick their own private parts (mostly because they can't reach)
- Your kids kids won't sniff your girlfriends crotch every time she comes over (unless she's a MILF)
- Your kids won't bite anyone (if they do they rarely break skin)
- Your kids won't get loose and chase a neighbor barking down the street
- If your kids ever knock someone up at least it won't be a litter of 8 (unless they are dating Octomom)
- You kid will never get the runns when you are not home and poo all over your bed, the walls and the carpet, oh yeah and then throw up on half your shoes.
DON'T FORGET TO GET IN ON MY GIVEAWAY!!! It's freaking AWESOME!