Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Forever Akward

The names have been omitted to protect the innocent.

One of my friends used to be in the movie business and worked all crazy hours for days on end. It was sort of feast or famine. She might work 6 days straight, 16 hour days shoots, etc and then not work for a month.

She was a single girl in a small apartment with no laundry in her place. Which meant lugging her clothes to the laundry mat and wasting 1/2 a day doing laundry. During one of her crazy work schedules, she had not been off in a very long time and had not done laundry in weeks.

It was her first Sunday off in what seemded to be eons and instead of going to do laundry she accepted a date with a Uber hot guy to go to a fabulous Mimosa brunch.

She donned a cute summer dress and strappy heals, opting to NOT go commando, which we all know is NEVER a good idea, she wore the LAST pair of clean panties in her drawer.

They were her BITCHES. You know what I mean, those ratty old granny panties that should have been thrown out years ago. They have holes, are faded and the elastic is shot to hell. Yeah, girls, those panties are your bitches.

All was fine and dandy, Brunch was amazing, she politely excused herself to go to the ladies room to powder her nose. On the long walk back, she caught her date's eye and gave him a coquettish hair flip and a big smile. Just then she felt the panties slipping, falling, slithering down, that flirty walk of hers, that extra UMPHF she put in her hip sway for the date had been too much for the BITCHES, the slid right down. There she was standing in the restaurant with her granny panties in a pile on the floor, right between her strappy sandals.

What is a girl to do. Well, step out of them, pick them up, stuff then in your purse and pretend like those 30 seconds NEVER HAPPENED.

Good to be back with TOVA for Totally Awkward Tuesdays!

That was their first and last date.

The moral of the story? Treat your panties like your bitch and they may exact revenge when you least expect it!


  1. OMG!! I cant believe that happened!! Im so proud that "she" just kept her cool!

  2. OMG, that's hilarious!!!
    I was in the drug store with hubby one time yrs ago and I saw a flash of white on the floor and it caught my attention. It was the dirty tighty whiteys that the hubby had stepped out of the day before...peeking out of the leg hole of the jeans he didn't bother to change. He wasn't even embarrassed, can you imagine???

  3. I just thought I had no shame.

  4. That's so terrible!!! Oh man. That's exactly why I regularly purge my underwear drawer.

  5. Hahahahahhahah. That is way too funny. Love the moral of the story. My daughter works in a womens clothing store. Recently one of her best customers left her thong in the dressing room!!! We are trying to figure out how that happened since they don't sell panties or swimsuits. My daughter was so groased out by it that she had to grab a handful of paper towels to pick it up and throw away.

  6. That's hilarious!! Hey, I wish some of my undies would fall off me....you know because I am so skinny and all! ha!


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