- You will never return to this blog
- You might call family services for something I did 10 years ago, when my kids were THE DEVIL (that is not an exaggeration)
- Men in white suits are very likely to show up at my door
So, here goes me in a nutshell (a big ass nutshell)....I grew up in all over Latin America, home based in Washington DC, and grew up multi-culturally,with my Mom and Dad and my two big sisters (I AM the BABY!) I married my leather jacket wearing, motorcycle driving boyfriend when I was 18 and had two devil spawns: Alex & Stevie, before I could legally drink. I can say this now that they are 17 & 16, because I KNOW for a fact that they were abducted by Aliens and replaced with nice boys somewhere around 2000, maybe it was related to that whole Y2K thing! My husband (who I am still married to, yes the same one for 18 years) worked nights, I worked days and then was left alone with those 2 (Alex & Stevie) they made me cry at least once a week, mostly after going to the Supermarket. My husband has had a regular job for years and I was gifted by those aliens with good kids, so life is much better....
I already had a mental list of all the hilarious blogs I was gong to write, but it's either my ADHD or short term memory loss at 36, but I have forgotten about half of them! Here's a list of some of my zany stories coming up (in no particular or chronological order), so stay tuned:
- Why 2 people both with ADHD should never reproduce
- How not to tell your Dad your knocked up at 18
- The nightmares I don't even tell my therapist about
- Someone gave ME a job at an all girl's Catholic High School, DOH!
- Why men should never speak, unless they are Gay
- I tought I was Cinderlla, mostly becasue my sisters WERE the evil step sisters!
- I actually blacked out getting a brazillian coochie wax
- What to do when your kid says"your butt does NOT fit in those jeans" in the middle of the store