Thursday, October 15, 2009

Spread the funny around

My Mom has always been funny, in the way where a person who isn't trying to be funny and doesn't even know they are funny. A side effect of stroke victims is that they lose affect in their voice and emotion in their faces. Which makes for a great comedic straight guy.
Funny stuff my Mom has said this week-
Someone is going to come help me with my nails and plucks those terrible whiskers tomorrow? (ya, Mom, me- I will bring all the stuff tomorrow) Good, because the last thing any woman wants is to be seen with those terrible whiskers, and any woman that doesn't care, well, something is wrong with that one!

I almost kissed one of the boys that works here (male nurses) he looks just like Alex (my son)

to my friend Joe (who was visiting his Mom, quite the coinky-dinky) Are you my friend? No? Good, so you work here. The food is horrible, you need to do something about it.

Apples make me happy, that's why I think they make me eat apple sauce all day long. It works, I'm happy.

You are so pretty (to me) you look just like a girl on the TV ( I turn the TV on) That's her! (the wife from the King of Queens.) I wonder if Oprah would have been on, if she would have said the same thing!

me: Mama, Tita (my sister's nanny) has a daughter in law looking for work, maybe she will come up to Orlando and help Dad and me take care of you.

Ma: OK, sounds good, but we have to find her a boyfriend, when you find them a boyfriend they always stick around.
me: MA! It's Tita's daughter in law, she's married to her son, we can't get her a boyfriend in Orlando.
Ma: Yeah, that would be BAD (and she totally cracks up)
The nurse comes in and when she leaves I ask my Mom what that nurses name is.
Her response- I can't ever remember, they should really tell me their name every time the walk in here- they know it!
me: they know their name? (which was a stupid thing on my part to say, but I am sleep deprived)
Mom: I hope so, because my memory is shot!
I'm reading her the menu for the next day- Mom, due you want the fruit cup or peach cobbler for dessert?
Ma: Fruit Cup, I think it will have less calories.
Me: Mom, eat what you want, you need to gain weight, the said you are too skinny.
Ma: Really? What a blast.(totally flat affect) peach cobbler.
Nurse walk in and asks me to bring her a chain for her glasses, so she won't lose them. As soon as the nurse walks out, Mom says: Your Dad is going to be so happy, he was always telling me to get one of those chains and now when he sees me with it he can say: I TOLD YOU SO!

1 comment:

  1. Hey I found your blog on facebook blog network. I recently have lost 53 pounds and I though that your profile looks interesting and your stories are funny. anyways you can follow me on my blog its pretty random about me and my husband and my dog. sometimes about my feelings but mississippi is boring. anyways enjoy!
    ill post my info on your face book blog so you can follow me.


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