Most of us are Mother's, some of us are MoFo's too....
Now I don't know about you, but I have some bad a$$ kids, and they often need to be taught a lesson, so here is a perfect recipe for one of those days:
The child is in time out- in his room, in the closet, the corner, whatever...and it's lunch or dinner time...
2 slices of bread (the older the better)
1 cup of water
1 very straight face, if you crack all is lost
Present the "meal" to the miscreant child, and say this:
"The law says I must feed you, this is the meal you have earned today."
Then drop the tray *clank* and walk away.
If they have been REALLY BAD, make them real oatmeal (no milk, or sugar or raisins), then let it cool and serve it to them, tell them is is "Cruel Gruel" all they will eat for the rest of their childhood if they don't change their wicked ways.