I don't like you. I don't understand anything about you. You see, I too was a teen Mom. In fact I was younger than you were when you had Caley. I was doubly stupid, because when my baby was 6 months old, I was already pregnant with my second baby.
I was in a bad marriage, so broke my children were on State provided medical insurance, we couldn't even afford to go to McDonald's, this is in NO WAY an exaggeration. My husband worked two jobs, he was gone six days a week from 2pm to 8am, I worked full time. On the one day we had a day off, we got to ride around in a car with no a/c (in Florida) and try and find something free to do.
I lived in a city with zero support system, no friends, no family, no one. On a good day, I would drop both my babies off at day care by 7:30 am and on my way to work I would fantasize about running away. Leaving and never coming back. On a bad day I thought about killing myself. I did never think of hurting them. I loved my children, still do. I am also truthful enough to accept that I resented my children, I often looked at them and knew I would have been so much better off without them. I can honestly say, I do not wish teen motherhood on my worst enemy.
I look at you and you lived at home with your parents who dotted on you and your child. They provided so much, that you didn't even have a job to support your daughter. You did what you wanted when you wanted, in my eyes you had it easy. Do I understand wanting to go out and party? Hell yes, I watched on jealously as my friends went off to college and partied their brains out hooking up with hot guys, while I was pregnant and changing diapers. It sucked.
What I cant get over is that all you had to do was get in your car and drive away. Your parents would have so obviously raised your child, and you would have been free to live your "bella vita" life.
In December of last year my house was broken into, in the middle of the day I came home to a burglarized home and could not find my dog Lulu. As I called 911, while running up and down the street screaming her name, I was sobbing and hysterical. I now laugh about this, since I found my dog, but in that moment I was devastated. I sounded like Nancy Kerrigan when they whacked her leg "WWWWHHHHHHHHYYYYYY, WHHHHYYYYY, why would they take my dog!" I can only hope the 911 operator was a pet owner so that she understand how heart broken I was.
When the not guilty verdict came down, I was so upset I did not speak the rest of the day. If you knew me, this fact alone would frighten you. I was so upset and all I could think about was that 911 call when I thought my dog as missing or hurt, the pain I felt, the devastation and heart break and how that was about MY DOG. My Dog, let alone a child. I just can't understand.
P.S. Please don't procreate.