Thursday, August 26, 2010

Texts from last night

I am sure many of you have heard or even visited the site- texts from last night. It is basically a compilation of texts that college kids, 20 somethings, singles send each other in an inebriated state. Yeah, I know, not that funny when you are 38, have kids, are married and have every other responsibility there is to have in the world.

Well, not really funny until last night. Last night you ask? Yes, last night was a GNO (for those you don't speak the lingo- Girls Night Out) Well, since I have been on this killer diet and not had a drink in forever, my plan was to have 2 cocktails and tuna tataki at dinner, that was it.

Suffice to say- THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN! The plan was to meet at my house at 7 and all go from there. Some people were late (I blame the night on them) 2 bottles of wine were polished off before we even left the house at 9:30. There were 5 of us and 1 was the designated driver, you do the math. I had 1 drink with dinner, but by that point I had already texted my GF (who was working) "I'm wated" that's drunky for wasted. Her response- YESSSSSSS! That's how we roll.

We then went to the bar across the street, it was packed, the music sucked and it was full of weird men and young bimbos. We had an awesome time. At some point we, started texting one of the girls husbands.

A lot of "we're totally wasted MOFO" and a little "get ready for ur horny wife f*cker" that sort of intellectual banter, I am so famous for. He of course, replied all sorts of silliness to us and egged us on, most of which I CAN NOT put here!

The funny lies in 2 particular texts.

first at 1:15 to the GF's hubs (and I have no idea why this phrase was sent) "your wife loves my hoohaa"

second text was sent by the also inebriated GF all on her own "ur bitch be krzy" which makes no sense at all because she was talking about herself at that point. However, she did NOT send it to her husband, she sent it to someone who has the same fist name as her husband. Someone I work with, some one who is married- yeah, married to a woman that does not particularly like me.

Same name guy from worked called me this morning and I had to explain- how is it that the kids say- EPIC FAIL!!! Thankfully he laughed, and was smart enough to see my story was true (really hard to believe- me drinking!? never!) As far as his wife- wateve.

When the GF finally got home and rolled into bed, waking her hubs to the promised drunk wife hornyness, he asked:

What is a HOOHA?

Bwa-hahahaha- her reply- is a *meow* stupid. you know the word, I don't use it, that why I say hooha.

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