Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The QUEEN of Bad Ideas

I am the Queen of Bad Ideas. Remember when you were a kid and would get busted and the teachers and parents would talk about the "Ring Leader" and how this person had come up with the bad idea and then made everyone else go along with it....well, see, I AM the Ring Leader.
I was always the one thinking up the stunts, pranks and all around stupid stuff that got us all in trouble. This week I will dedicate my posts to list all of these incidents starting back as far as I can accurately remember. There are instances that I have heard repeated by my family that I don't actually remember myself, like the time I slipped out the hotel room, stripped and was found posing in the nekkid on a coffee table in the hotel lobby. I was easy to find, as the followed the trail of my clothes. I was 3 and already exhibiting exhibitionist tendencies. This one doesn't count, since I don't remember.
Granted, they will get worse as the weeks go on, because seriously, the trouble you got in in the 3rd grade can't possible compare to the trouble you can get into when you 17, can drive and are drinking, just saying. I will spare the names of my accomplices, which after the 8th grade were mostly boys, as I could no longer get girls to go along with my cockamamie plans and pranks. Boys always seemed much more open to being bad, and more willing to do what I said (this still hold true to this day.)
Brownies- the few short weeks, before I was kicked out.
Strike 1- refused to do the sewing project for the badge, mostly just sat and chatted with the other girls while they sewed. One poke in the finger with a needle was enough for me.
Strike 2- stole a box of Nilla Wafers and a pitcher of Kool-Aid and ate them as fast as we could, just for shits and giggles and then chugged the Kool-aid, come snack time, there was none (that was bad) then my little accomplice went home and threw up red goo (thought it was blood and she was dying) and confessed to her Mom on her death bed. Of course I too threw up red goo, but had the good sense too keep it to myself, that was proof the Brownie Leaders needed to nail us (like the kool-aid mustaches weren't enough???)
Strike 3- Went camping to a lake overnight. In my defense, we were sold a whole lot of hooey! We were told it was going to be FUN, swimming, dancing, singing by the campfire and "Smores and more 'Smores. Well, there was no mention of, clearing ground for the tents, gathering water to boil, gathering fire wood, pitching the tent, digging a latrine, yes, let me repeat digging a latrine (in the 4th grade) and then they decided it was too cold to swim. Awwww HELL to the NAH, snuck off (got at least 2 girls to go with) ditched the chores and went swimming in our clothes, then my brilliant plan was to say "we fell in the lake, whilst gathering water" apparently the 35 minute dip, the laughing, screaming and playing gave us away. Aslo in my defense, as I told my parent later, at least we didn;t go SKINNY DIPPING! jeez....
Your out of the Brownies!


  1. Whats worse than a girl scout at your front door?
    A brownie in your pants.

    I think my girl its time to join the club of us fringe dwellers out there who wouldnt join a club who would take us (is that some kind of oxy moron or something?).

  2. Oh I can hardly wait to hear the tale of a fellow "ring leader" - honestly - didn't all your ideas make sense (at least at the time) and for the most part hurt nobody, just cause irritation? Small price to pay for the fun, if you ask me!

  3. I was always more of a follower, but frankly, brownie camp was rubbish. You had to make trouble to make some good stories ;P


I love you Darling, really! Thank you!