I would be a stay at home Mom, to my current kids, 18 & 19.
I would have a cleaning lady, who WOULD do windows, iron and love my dog and her incessant shedding, oh, and she would be at my house ever day, and unlike Brit-Brit's cry baby bodyguard, would NOT freak out if she saw me naked (she would have to restrain herself, 'cause I'm not into that.)
The Hubs would still work, giving me at least 8 hours a day to read, watch TV, nap, chat on the phone and fart around on the internet. I would NOT need to go to the gym, because in this dream- I am basically Sofia Vergara with much less of an accent, but all o' the Latina Flavor.
Oh yeah, I can EAT what ever the HELL I want and look perfect.
My hair is A-MAH-Zing!
My boobs, forget it, no need for a bra, ever- perfection.
Everyone loves me (that is nothing new)
I still live in my regular house, but- I have new bathrooms and a new kitchen.
I would also have a new patio/pool area with a fire pit and a cabana, OK, OK, OK, a cabana/pool boy- but you can make him gay- he's only to look at! OH! He could be an ex masseur! oh, I like that.
Wait! I could drink cocktails all damn day long and it wouldn't be bad for me, oh and I would need some besities to be able to lounge around with me. YES! and a big ole cool car we could drive to lunch in and annoy the crap out of people with our cackling and occasional snorts!
OK, readers, figure out how you can make this happen for and get back to me- chop-chop, I'm counting on you!
I must keep the same HUBS, so no bumping him off in your plan, I happen to like him and I got 20 years of training in that one, a large investment of time, I tell you!
I can help you out with the pool boy but he's turning 50 soon and (probably) looks like crap in a Speedo. But that would get him out of my life so you can have him for free. He's somewhat trainable so I'll even pitch in for some masseuse lessons.
ReplyDeleteOne caveat: he's non-returnable.
jj, girl you are not suckering me into taking your husband, you are on your own!
ReplyDelete