Hodge Podge

So I have been super lazy- it may be the heat, it may be because it's summer or more likely because well, I'm lazy in general, so sorry for not posting.

The HUBS is out of town for almost 2 weeks! Crazy! I thought I was going to be living it up and have girls night out EVERY night...He left on Wednesday evening so far this is all the exciting stuff I have done:

Wednesday: Watched a DVD- Hachi: A Dog's Tale (stars Richard Gere) OK, if you are SICK and want to torture yourself, cry and make your stomach hurt as well as rip you heart out- then this is a must see flick for you! If not, send it to someone you HATE sit back and giggle.

Thursday: Was using the HUBS car, as he left mine in Miami (where he left from on his trip) when I tried to leave work, his car would not start and it wouldn;t let the key come out (it was stuck in the ignition.) Called road side assistance, waited 1.5 hours, got a ride home.

Friday: Still no car. Took oldest son's car to the movie with youngest son and friends: watched Despicable me. It was hilarious-son kept on telling met o keep it down- he is totally embarrassed by my cackling!

Saturday: Got a ride to car dealer and they gave me a loaner- yeah, because my car is out of warranty and they are charging me $1500 to fix it. Isn't that so sweet of them?

So, my goodness, there has been so much exciting and adventure- I can barely stand it...oh yeah, did I mention the water heater broke? Yeah, I am ignoring it and taking very short showers (at least is like 110 degrees outside so that water is not that cold) It took the 18 year old 4 days to notice we had no hot water. Guess what that means...yep, he hadn't bathed for 4 days....ewwwwwwwwwww, boys.

However I have sleeping at least 10 hours a day! haha, that is wonderful and I also have been watching all the TV shows I want to watch but the HUBS hates:

You're cut off!
Discovery Health- Half Ton Mom, Dad, Teen, etc
Discovery Health- Baby's Story
Snapped!
Cheaters
Teen Mom
At least 8 hours straight of HGTV
Another 8 of the Food Network

Oh, not to mention all the movies!

The Women
Grey Gardens
InkHeart (that one was stupid)
Cop Out (ok, my son made me watch this. Hello! Tracy Morgan is hysterical!)
Temple Grandin (amazing)

Do not fret all is not lost- I am currently trying to recruit anyone in going with me to a drag queen show on Saturday and luring a gay aquaintance over (who I wish to make my official gay) for Horror Movie Night marathon...I will let you know how it goes.

On another note, I went to but gas in the stupid rental and saw this:


Who the HELL do they think they are marketing to? Really!? Ladies, do you "power up" with a GIANT ASS SODA? When you think of yourself as a "super mom" do you envision giant round boobies and a down to there neckline? Do those giant ass soda's make your biceps hard? What is going on here?

Summer Blockbuster?

OK, so guess who did this very lame fake poster all by herself?! That's right, MOI!

Girl, I got some skills! In other news, you don't even want to know what I think Mel Gibson deserves as punishment. Let's just say it involves lashes and rusty nails...no, no, no! I kid, I kid!

PHD in IBA- inner bad ass

I found this picture on-line a few months ago- I had to save it. Unfortunately I did not save where I got it from so I could credit it them (sorry!)

I just felt the need to save it. I was not sure why it resonated so much with me.

I think now I do- I am this Panda.

How you say? Really a Panda?

Yes- I look cute and furry- fluffy and chubby- sweet and doe eyed. However, very few people know my inner bad ass.

I am lethal and not nice, at all.

The other day I was having a conversation with The Hubs, playing out a situation- and becasue this blog is no longer anonymous I won't get into details, but it went like this:

Me: They do not want me on their bad side, hence they will play nice. They know it is in their best interest to keep me somewhat happy. The don't want to paint me into a corner, it will get ugly.

The HUBS: Honey, they have NO idea about your bad side.

Just then I saw the Panda.

I never pick a fight, I am non-confrontational in all aspects of my life, direct but non-confrontational. I do however have one deadly trait- I don't get involved unless I can go for the jugular and finish it. If I need to, I do not hesitate and I got for that jugular- I don't hold back.

There fore I am that Panda- huge inner bad ass- HUGE- I would say as big as my fat ass!

My baby is LEGAL!

So today is the first day that everyone in my household is over 18 (except Lulu, she is 14 in dog years.)

Yesterday my baby, my youngest son, turned 18.

It is so strange, I can remember the day he was born like it was yesterday. He was a planned c-section, I was a high risk pregnancy- I have a mitral valve prolapse and my first son had been an emergency c-section- which I guess made me high risk. I was 20, which now seems like a child to me.

My pregnancy was healthy, if stressful, I had already had a baby, was a newly wed and now had ANOTHER unexpected pregnancy- we moved to the States on Valentines day 1992, Stevie was born in July.

As his birth was planned, the doctor offered to schedule the c-section for the 4th of July, that year it was a Saturday. HELL NO! I wanted to see the fireworks! Besides my husband HAD to work on the 4th. That 4th of July I walked all the monuments in DC, stayed on the mall for the fireworks then took the subway home, something I now view as complete INSANITY as I was going to give birth in 2 days.

Sunday I rested during the day, and looked forward to a night with my husband. My husband worked nights, in fact he worked 2 jobs 4-12, then 12- 8am. Since we were having a baby on Monday, he had Sunday night off. We had a nice dinner at home, even thou my cooking skills at that point were truly atrocious, it was nice to be together. I was a treat to go to bed at the same time, but we didn't get any sleep! ha-ha I know my kids have no interest in this blog, but we had sex, lots of sex that night.

We were at the hospital at 5am- Stevie was born at about 7am. We were there alone, we had no friends, no family- we only had my parents and they stayed home to take care of our 15 month old son. My husband was 24, he was not in his own country and had limited English (which was worse when he was nervous.) I was knocked out by the anesthesia (something I hate, since I clearly remember seeing Alex the moment he was born and crying I was so happy to see him.)

My youngest son was born with polysyndactyly- on his hands and feet. He had extra digits, fused fingers and toes (with bone, tissure and blood vessels) and webbing. My husband was told as far as congenital birth defects presented themselves, his polysyndactyly was severe and was found in many complex and sometimes lethal groups of anomalies or syndromes. I at the time was out cold. I can honestly tell you that moment affected the rest of his life- the feeling of helplessness. His congenital birth defects- were all physical- it turned out to NOT be part of any syndrome- of which Down's was bantered about. Do you know how long genetic testing on medicaid took to get results, let alone see a specialist? Six months. Six months we held our breath.

The moment I saw Stevie, I knew he was going to be fine. I may have been girlish naivety or it may have been a mother's intuition, or more likely a survival mode. By the time he was in the 1st grade Steve had 7 surgeries, most before he was 2. At one point he had simultaneous surgery on all extremities, with an IV in his neck, he was tied to a crib in the hospital- it was gut wrenching. They had taken skin grafts from his pelvic area for his fingers and toes- For skin grafts to take, you have to be immobile. How do you immobilize an 10 month old baby? You put casts on him from finger tip to shoulder, elbow bent, from tip toe to upper thigh, knee bent. The fist few crucial days, you tie him to a hospital crib, lest his finger tips rip out the IV in his neck. AS I write this, I can tell you I honestly forgot how bad it was. Except that time, I was on the burn victim unit, because of space constraints. DC children burn unit- if you ever want to feel lucky in life- go there. If you ever think your kid is a pain- go see a child being treated for burns- you will see what PAIN is. the older he got the worse the surgeries were- when your baby can tell you he is so much pain and ask why over and over, you just want to die.

This post could go on forever- every surgery could be a book- I never think about it- once in a while someone who doesn't know our history will ask me about Stevie's scars and I will tell them about it. And it seems so foreign to me- such a past life. I forget how much my child has suffered- truly suffered. As a toddler, he would see anyone in a white coat, let's say an optometrist at the Mall and he would scream and run the other way! It has been easy to spoil him and treat him like the baby, even though he is only 15 months younger than my first born. When I tell people, after they ask- they always say- you were so young, wow- I admire all you did- you're amazing- to which my answer is mostly certainly- What other option did I have? Run away? Not care for my child? Not fight tooth and nail with every fucking Insurance company we ever had? Oh yeah, once we got insurance, because I was pregnant when I can to the US and could get Insurance- he was born uninsured. Not battle doctors, nurses and pharmacies to make sure my son got what he needed? Was it an option to go to bed and cover my head with a pillow and never come out? My friend laughed the other day and she said- yes! Some people do!

This was taken last night- my little trooper turned 18