My Beloved Husband

So I make fun of him at times (all the time.) On occasion I rag on him (constantly.) I have even been known to close my eyes, bob my head and make the noise the adults in the Peanuts cartoons make (endlessly) when he is trying to bitch at me, I mean talk to me. Let me not leave out that when he is talking to me from the other room I respond "yes dear" while giving him the middle finger salute, I kid, I kid: Honey, if you are reading this- I NEVER do that. Really.

However, I really do love that man- as much as I threaten to hit him over the head with a HUGE frying pan one day (soon.) He is so sweet and loving. So I decided to tell you 3 things I love about him, so you don't think that I married him for his looks, because we all know the MAN is a DAMN FINE PIECE OF ASS.

1. He tries to keep the lights and noise to a minimum when he goes to work every morning (early) so Lulu and I can sleep as long as we like. He makes sure we are tucked in before he leaves.
2. On cold mornings, he runs the space heater in the bathroom, so that when I wake up and get in the shower the bathroom is nice and toasty.
3. He sincerely loves my butt, is enthralled by it, mesmerized- no mater HOW BIG it gets.

Ladies and gays- that is a GOOD man.

You may ask yourself, why does he LOVE her? Because- Mama let's him have his toys.
Mama also has a great insurance policy on him, since the man rides sans helmet.

Need a MAN TRAINER

OK, so here is the thing, this dog is super cute, right? When I watch this video all I can think of is- why the F*ck can't my kids or husband do any of these tricks?!? Maybe I need to get more dogs, hire a trainer and live happily ever after!